Mental Advisory: the following contains more personal information than you ever wished to read. You can find my (succinct) official blog description here. Only proceed on this page if it's a rainy day and all your friends are out of town.

In the big scary real world, I'm hard to figure out because I'm excellent at keeping secrets, exhibit flight behavior, and sometimes like to suddenly speak in Latin.

Here's a fun fact about me: I tend to crave everything I can't have. It's a bit of a disorder, I know. I blame it on my parents for never letting me have a puppy/horse/baby alligator as a child.

On the blogosphere, on the other hand, I'm pretty predictable. I tend to enter mega-fangirl mode and gush over books I ♥, but simultaneously am notorious for my brutal critique, and sometimes for being a bit of an ass; I do not tolerate bad grammar, stilted dialogue, or poorly executed sex scenes. I just don't. It's protocol around here.

I try to remain professional, I really do, but every once in a while, books that use ,,, as punctuation, painfully indecent proposals, and lines like "If I had a penis, I'd have a massive erection" spark an undisciplined f-bomb or two. And sometimes, unfairly swoon-worthy male heroes bring out the character-whore in me (e.g. Griffin Fiske, I wANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIeS), as well. I apologize in advance... it happens even to the best of us.

〷 Look! Some x-chromosomes! 〷 〷〷

A little more about me: I am a recent Berkeley graduate working in cognitive neuroscience and clinical psychology research at UC Davis Health. This place is my home; I'm precisely the tree-hugging, health-food-hoarding, green-tea-sipping, hot-blooded hippie chick you always think of when someone says NorCal. Sometimes, I even climb up the suspension cables to a tower on the Golden Gate Bridge and greet the charming San Franciscan sunshine with arms spread wide. Then I'll remember I'm actually an east coast girl, and there is no sun because, duh—Bay Area fog, hello—and jesus fuckin' CHRIST it's actually FREEZING.

You know what Mary Schmich said about us, right?
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. 
I can't guarantee I'll live here forever but I want to cherish the time I have here while I do. It's truly one of my favorite geographical regions. Everyone should live in San Francisco once.

I'm pursuing developmental psychopathology, neuroscience, and social welfare on an extensive graduate-school track, which demonstrates well my inability to ever make rational or mentally healthy decisions.

I'm a sucker for:
  • cheesy pickup lines
  • people who buy me books
  • anything that smells like coconut, rain, citrus, caramel corn, lavender, café au lait, southern fried chicken, and fresh grass (even though I'm allergic, goddammit)
I am also quite fond of:
  • lace underwear and dresses
  • high high heels
  • tragic fiction
  • being naked
  • being very very weird
  • making lists
  • Adrien Brody
  • matcha
  • boba (I am Asian and lived in Berkeley... do the math)
  • rugby
  • Korea
  • British accents
  • the Longhorns
  • affogato
  • translated literature
  • six-packs—beer or muscles... either way
  • dark chocolate
  • musicians
  • obscure poetry
  • beautiful words
  • pool-hopping
  • pretentiously telling people I speak French even though French 2 is the furthest I went with it in high school ahem... je parle français, bitches
  • anything scandalous
  • anything vintage
  • grammar and punctuation, which as you can tell, I use in abundance (on a related note, if you know how to use semicolons and m dashes correctly, there's a 104% chance I'll sleep with you)
I am easily amused by:
  • cheerleaders
  • internet videos that legitimately make me laugh like this, this, this, this, and this (if these entertain you, we probably have the exact same sense of humor)
  • people who write on their Twitter profiles that they love to have fun. You don't sAY/????  ??????
I have a crippling, unhealthy obsession with Henry Cavill. But who doesn't?!

I'm a hazard to myself, but I'm surviving.

I channel Charles Bukowski, Marilyn Monroe, and Bruce Lee.

Except not really. Marilyn Monroe was much, much hotter than I am. Have you ever, in the middle of breakfast, gotten so depressed over how indescribably hot she is, that your entire face just ker-PLONK!!!ed into your sad, soggy cereal?

I have.

I am so sorry you have to put up with me. 

Some things I am famous for: skinny-dipping in creeks (and other people's pools, etc.), procrastinating, dancing flouncing outside during rainstorms, always forgetting to wear a sweater, blogging on the www, extensive HTML code skills (hahaHA), bending down to smell flowers, secretly taking things personally, attaining bruises in the strangest places....., stepping on crunchy leaves, underachieving, reading books at an intimidating pace, obsessing over calorie counts, eating, sleeping with a ridiculous number of pillows (five), getting bitten, laughing at the most inappropriate possible moments, taking disastrous risks, burning toast, and drinking my coffee black and tea unsweetened.

Some things I am not famous for: going to bed at an acceptable hour, savviness of technology, consistency, remembering to take my contacts out, replying on chat in a timely manner, having patience, punching in the correct numbers on vending machines, culinary expertise (or the ability to create anything remotely edible, for that matter), brevity, wearing my heart on my sleeve, calling back, behaving properly in public, staying awake in history class, and using Facebook (so don't ask).

You can reach me anytime:

  • at home.
  • sitting in a corner café (ANY corner) clutching The Picture of Dorian Gray in one hand and a chai crème frappe (with soymilk, no cream) in the other. Yes, I'm your most basic of #basicbitches. I will most likely be wearing something extremely weather-inappropriate and blowing bubbles with my straw.
  • in class. If you go to my school and ever see a girl frantically fanning at her laptop during a lecture, you'll know right away it's me because I'm the one with the computer that makes embarrassingly audible whirring noises. I promise you'll know it's me. Feel free to say hi! I'll probably bite.

You wanted my links? Those are all in my header. They sort of look like this:

Actually, they look exactly like that.

Can't get enough? Every other detail about my life can be summed up in the following pages:

Congratulations. Now you know 100% of what there is to know about me. If you're still reading this, you should really get some more fresh air go ahead and fill out an application to be my new fantastic best friend. Because I really do love and appreciate you Americanflag