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Thursday, June 23, 2011

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags by Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman, and Meagan McCrary

Release Date: June 18th, 2011
Publisher: Adams Media
Page Count: 237
Source: Complimentary copy provided by FSB Media in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)

Red Flag (noun): 1. A sign of danger. 2. The point in time when you notice something is a tad off with the guy you're dating, but decide to let it go because you really like him, you're tired of being single, you really really want to get laid, whatever. When things start going downhill, you look back on that seemingly insignificant moment you dismissed and think: That's when I should have known.


Saw something wrong with him—whether it was suspect grooming habits or ridiculously childish behavior—but let it slide. It's not that big of a deal. Except it totally was. You wanted to fall in love, but ended up going insane. You swore you'd never do it again. But did.

Don't beat yourself up. In the search for love, we've all either blatantly ignored or completely missed red flags. Instead, smarten up. It's time to figure out what you missed and learn how to avoid similar flagtastic fiascos in the future. If you raise your red-flag awareness now, you'll be able to greenlight a real relationship down the road.
What Stephanie Thinks: I love relationship advice, not because I need it (I hope!), but because I enjoy giving it. I'm not THAT experienced (no Ph.D.!) but I am studying psych. After all, what more does finding Mr. Right come down to, than the woman mind?

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags is a cute, sharp manual that's small in stature, but big in heart. Reading it, not only will you come to an understanding of questionable male behavior—ranging from that of the weaklings, to the complete jackasses—but also, laugh and wince along with numerous other women who tell their Big Red-Flag Stories. This book resonates distinct giggles, relatable instances, and tell-it-to-me truths that you'll be more than happy to keep in mind. Complete with 50 essential "rules" of the dating world, blunt, hysterical, and ever-so-observant, this Little Black Book deserves a spot on my "to read again and again and again" shelf, or better yet, to be tucked into my purse.

Normally, I write a 
Stephanie Loves feature by including my favorite quote from the book being reviewed into my review. Since I love so much about this book, I'll just share with you, a several of the Red Flag Rules I appreciate for being funny, too true, or for really hitting home.

Red Flag Rule #10: If the guy can't hear the word "vagina" without giggling, he should not be permitted to touch yours. — okay, I just had to account this one. I don't think I've known any guys who chortled at my naming the female genitalia since seventh grade (because after seventh grade, it was always something along the lines of "AW yeah" rather than "hehee"), but if you do meet a guy with this sort of immaturity level, please leave him.

Red Flag Rule #11: A guy who's not man enough to have your back on all occasions, even if it means upsetting his mother, isn't worth keeping around. — I'm not married, but we all know the daughter-in-law rule: no matter how nice your boyfriend/husband's mother is, she will have some sort of beef with you. And though I'm not saying that guys should choose their significant others over their moms, I am saying, if they don't have the balls to stand up for their girl, they probably don't have any balls at all.

Red Flag Rule #16: If a guy has to ask how many times you came, chances are you didn't. — ahahahah. Boy oh boy, do I have a story for you. I hooked up with the guy at a party once (I won't name names, mostly to preserve my own dignity) and he was like this real hotshot man's man kinda guy, right? He thought he was so impressive while we were going at it; I'm pretty sure he was more concerned about his performance than ours (total douche bag? I think so). When we were done, there was all this great pillow talk shit going on, and I asked him really sweetly, "Did you come?" and he said with the most satisfied grin on his face, "Yeah, twice." A beat later, "How about you?" This time, I smiled smugly and said, "Not even close". Stephanie: 1 Conceited asshole: 0.

Red Flag Rule #18: A man should never use the word "pussy" when he's in yours. — personally, I wouldn't be highly offended with that kind of bed language. In fact, I would assume the best and think he did porn or something. 

Red Flag Rule #26: It's better to have loved and lost than to be stuck in a relationship that's no longer full of love at all. — I hate being single, and as a result, have suffered through meaningless "relationships" a lot. Does it make me emotionally unhealthy? Sometimes. Socially suicidal? Often.

Red Flag Rule #41: If the guy you're dating tells you he can't commit to a relationship right now because he's "processing a lot," don't wait around for him to work through his shit. We're all processing a lot... it's called life. — I will admit I've been guilty of this more than once, in a relationship. No matter how much I want to be with a guy, if I have too much going on, or have complicated things on my mind, I don't want to have to offer just a piece of what I have. I want to be my best when I'm with a guy; no one deserves my inability to commit. In my defense, girls are less mentally stable than guys. It'd be interesting if this was a man's book, on advice about women. Would this same rule apply? I hope not.

To learn more Red Flag Rules (without my sarcastic commentary), check out The Little Black Blog of Red Flags, which is updated regularly with all the red flags featured in the book.

Radical Rating: 10 hearts: I'm speechless; this book is an extraordinarily amazingly wonderfully fantastically marvelous masterpiece. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥