♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Fang Face by Norm Cowie

Fang Face is probably the first humor novel I've ever read. I never really knew what "funny" was before I read it (my tenth grade Advanced Honors English teacher told me that Charles Dickens was funny... not that I agree in the least, but Norm Cowie is probably twice the comedian he is. Word). His style is captivating; once you pick it up, you can't put it down, and his wit is literally laugh-out-loud amusing. I had the wonderful opportunity to read and review this delight, that the author sent to me, himself. Here's Fang Face by Norm Cowie:

Fang Face
Norm Cowie

Page Count: 282
Release Date: 1 September, 2009
Publisher: Quake (Echelon Press)
Source: Received as a gift from the author (with no expectations of a review, let alone a positive one... thank you so much, Norm!)

Erin has bigger worries than how she'll do on her Trig Final. A vampire bit her and she's turning into an Undead.
Things could be worse, though. It cleared her complexion, she can fly, and now her parents have to let her go out at night. And being a vampire is great for freaking out her little sister.

The downside? Besides being dead, of course... and having to drink blood smoothies... was having to give up tanning and pizza. And with her new edgy Goth look, jet-black hair and porcelain skin, everyone tells Erin she's become beautiful. So much so that the other girls in school have started calling her names... like 'Fang Face.'

Erin wouldn't mind checking her new look for herself. But as everyone knows... Vampires can't see their reflections! 

I'll have to admit, it sounds a tad cliché. When I read the blurb, I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, God. Not another vampire novel." But I take that all back now. Fang Face is NOT just another vampire novel. Well, it is another vampire novel, but it's not all romancy and tragic like the Moonlight series or whatever it's called. See, Fang Face has lovable characters, an actual point to its plot, and the ability to make me laugh with the turn of every page. 

I could relate to Erin a lot. She's just a typical high school girl, unnoticed and unnoticing. She's nice but not innocent; pretty, but not gorgeous. She does nothing to deserve turning into an Undead—an everliving bloodsucker—and yet she still does, when a sly vampire manages to bite her one day.

The story does not revolve around Erin, however. This story revolves around Ian Trug, who is described as "quite possibly the ugliest kid in the entire country" by the first sentence of the book. Immediately, Cowie makes Trug the most lovable character in the book, if not physically, sympathetically.

For me, there was a little too much sarcasm. I used to think that I was the most sarcastic person in the world (I'm not), but this book definitely topped me :) It was entertaining though; nice to be able to laugh at a book every once in a while. Nonetheless, the style was very moving and kept me at the edge of my feet at all times. There was a perfect balance of humor, anguish, and affliction throughout the novel.

Radical Rating: 8 hearts: An engaging read; highly recommended. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Sizzling Seduction by Gwyneth Bolton

I love the romance genre, and Harlequins have always been proven to be especially ineffable since they're short, sweet, and simple. I'm not too big of a Harlequin Suspense fan, but I do love the very stereotypical "single-mother-meets-handsome-stranger-and-ends-up-marrying-him" ones. They are so realistic and easy to read; it explains why I have so many at home! However, I had never considered trying a Kimani Romance until I picked up a copy of Gwyneth Bolton's Protect and Serve. I read the back cover and immediately, I was hooked! I was excited to hear that it was actually a series, with three more books coming out after it. Sizzling Seduction, the fourth and last installment of Bolton's captivating and sultry series, tells the tale of the last Hightower brother and the love his heart is able to find. I actually did not get a chance to read the second and third books in the series, but the last book still made a wonderful stand-alone novel, and it was great to see some recurring characters (brothers of male protagonist, Patrick). Hope you enjoy Sizzling Seduction by Gwyneth Bolton:

Sizzling Seduction (Hightower Brothers #4)
Gwyneth Bolton

Page Count: 224
Release Date: 1 October, 2009
Publisher: Kimani Romance (Harlequin)
Source: Gifted from author (in no way expecting a review, nor a positive one, for that matter... thank you, Gwyneth!!!)

Some like it hot... Firefighter Patrick Hightower will take any risk in the line of duty. But risking his heart again? That's something he's vowed never to do. He prefers scorching affairs—the briefer, the better—though he might make a temporary exception for smart, sexy teacher Aisha Miller. Only Aisha isn't interested in exploring their instant, searing connection—no matter how much she feels the heat.

Aisha has had enough of dominant men trying to control her life, and the gorgeous firefighter who visits her kindergarten class is alpha male through and through. Yet the gentler side Patrick shows, especially around her young son, gradually melts her reserve. As shadows from Aisha's past resurface, she'll discover just how far Patrick will go to prove she's found her real-life hero.

Aisha has suffered enough to last a lifetime. Not only did her first marriage end with domestic abuse, but she also hasn't been able to find a man in a long time—she doesn't need one. Or does she? She doesn't quite realize how lonely she was until she meets more-than-gorgeous Patrick Hightower, firefighter, at the local station. From the beginning, the attraction is undeniable; even he makes moves on her. But Aisha won't leave her heart open that easily.

The synopsis was really intriguing; I kept the book in my hands and I couldn't put it down because I had to find out what would happen next! Like most Harlequin books, it was a quick, enjoyable read.

There were some things that surprised me though. The end was sort of predictable (your typical happily-ever-after ending), but in between, Aisha's ex-husband showed up. I did not see this coming at all. There was only one scene with him in the entire story, but with the first sentence describing his coldness, Bolton really made me hate him as character.

Also, Aisha's adorable son tugged at my heartstrings way too often. He was so adorable but grew up without a proper dad, so it was really evident how unhappy he was. Bolton sure knows how to catch the emotions of her readers. In the end, I was so happy that Aisha and Patrick got married; solely because her son now had a good father :)

I would totally recommend Sizzling Seduction for anyone who wants the variety. The novel is light-hearted and day-to-day paced, but there are some very intense (i.e.: steamy) scenes, and some really sad ones as well. It perfectly describes a family fairy-tale, so if you like closing a book with a full, satisfied feeling, I recommend you read this one.

Radical Rating: 7 hearts: Not without flaws, but overall enjoyable. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: The Younger Man by Sarah Tucker

The English really do do it better. I discovered the delightful Sarah Tucker when I first picked up her novel, The Last Year of Being Single. It didn't seem like my type of story, but after reading the first page, I was eager to find out what would happen by the last. When I finished it, I felt sort of changed. I felt like I had to do something; I felt like it wouldn't be quite right for me to just close the book and put it place it on my bookshelf and forget about it forever. So I went online and bought two of her other books. When I was through with them, I contacted her, telling her what a fan I was, and how much I enjoyed her stories. I also asked if she would mind "autographing" the books for me. She doesn't live in the country, so bookplates seemed to be a good idea. She enthusiastically agreed to send me a few, thanking me for being a reader on the way. Two weeks later, I received something in my mailbox, but it wasn't an envelope of bookplates. Sarah had sent me two of her books, two I didn't have, and they were SIGNED! That very same day, I started and finished The Younger Man, and I am thrilled to be able to share my review. It makes me so happy how generous and loving to readers that authors can be these days. This one is for Sarah Tucker:

The Younger Man
Sarah Tucker

Page Count: 272
Release Date: 1 January, 2006
Publisher: Red Dress Ink (Harlequin)
Source: Gifted by author (thank you, darling!!!) in no way expecting a review, let alone a positive one

Does life really begin at forty?

Successful, divorced lawyer Hazel Chamberlayne is sexy, independent and about to hit forty. Hazel also has a group of friends she loves and trusts, who love and trust her... and she doesn't need a man.

Not, that is, until the intelligent, engaging and ten years younger Joe Ryan becomes a new partner in the law firm. It's one thing to spice things up with the occasional passionate indulgence, but in a job where the path of true love runs straight into the divorce courts, Hazel isn't sure she can believe in her own happy ever after.

Though, just like a bikini wax, isn't love supposed to be less painful the second time around?

 

The first idea you get when you read the blurb is "cougartown". It's an idea that seems to be overrated these days, called hot by tabloids like E!News and People magazine. I personally find it annoying because of how "cool" it's made out to be. Why should age differences in relationships be cool? After reading The Younger Man however, I could tell why.

Hazel Chamberlayne is me. I'm not Hazel Chamberlayne, but she's me, she's you, she's every girl who has ever gotten her heart broken. Her love life has been through hell and high water, so at forty, she knows what she wants in life, and it's definitely not a new husband. She's got a beautiful daughter going off to college soon, a tight-knit circle of friends that you and I would both die to have, and is a successful, confident woman with a fantastic high-salary job. She already has a happily-ever-after life, one that began when her marriage ended, so who the hell is Joe Ryan, showing up at her firm like nobody's business? Who the hell is he to make her forget all of that, and to make her want to start over again?

Well, for starters, he's eye candy. Major eye candy. Jaw-dropping, eye-popping, saliva-inducing eye candy. And you know what? This bastard is nice too! And dare I say it—funny! (collective gasp!!).

Before she can tell herself not to fall for this guy, she finds herself falling for him anyway. It's bad enough that's he's so darned perfect; why must he be ten years younger?

I winced, I smiled, I teared up, and I damn near fell out of my set laughing, while reading The Younger Man. Tucker's charming, goofy British style is sure to make you as well. I have to warn you though, there was some pretty funny English lingo that I didn't quite understand, but it wasn't awful; I could figure out most of it by context. I love Sarah/Hazel's voice, though. British people are so suave and cynically hilarious. I enjoyed this one a lot. I also now love them Brits!

Radical Rating: 9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: I So Don't Do Makeup by Barrie Summy

Didn't get this one cheap, but free! It's not an actual copy, and just an Advanced Reading Copy, but I was fortunate enough to snag one from RandomHouse and review it. I outgrew middle age novels when I was about twelve, but I still like to read them for variety. Here's I So Don't Do Makeup by Barrie Summy: 

I So Don't Do Makeup (I So Don't Do Mysteries #3)
Barrie Summy

Page Count: 288
Release Date: 11 May, 2010
Publisher: Delacorte Press (Random House)
Source: Complimentary ARC provided by RandomBuzzers (publisher) in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)

No one messes with Sherry's mascara! A little cherry lip gloss never hurt anybody, right? That's what I thought until my sleepover. My friends went to bed all happy and moisturized... and woke up with serious skin issues! Luckily, I happen to be pretty good at solving mysteries. Because now I'm skin deep in one.

Someone's tampering with the makeup at the mall kiosk where Amber works, and she needs my help. I'm kind of a crime-solving celebrity. My mom is a ghost (really!), and together we've worked on some important cases.

But I'm tackling this mystery by myself. I'm even going undercover—without makeup—to solve it. That's right, if I'm going to crack this case, I'll have to say... I so don't do makeup.

I really didn't expect to like this book. Just by looking at the cover, you think that it's "just another chick-lit for preteenage wannabees" and then by reading the title, that thought is confirmed. The protagonist, Sherry, considers herself a sleuth (her name's short for Sherlock). In this book's case, she is playing detective to catch the horrible person who's been tainting the makeup at her favorite mall kiosk. I hadn't realized that this book was third in a series of Sherry's adventures. However, I read it fine without reading the first two books, so it makes a great stand-alone novel.

Most of the plot, as you can expect, was all happy-go-lucky. Sherry is thirteen, has a boyfriend, an extensive vocabulary, and an oddly quick thinking process. Yet, she's never worn makeup (before her incidental sleepover), loves glitter, and hates her stepmother. Is she mature, or immature for her age? I'm not quite sure. Also, there are some supernatural elements involved: her mom, who passed away, comes to visit her as a ghost, and Sherry always looks forward to meeting up with her. 

The book is very fast-paced and fairly entertaining. I went through it in about three hours. Nothing fancy to particularly stick in my mind (heck, I'm already forgetting some of it... but in my defense, it's been a few months since I've read it), and it definitely is sort of painful to read at times (everything in Sherry's life is so disgustingly perfect, which bothered me a bit). All the events are things that would never happen in real life because real life never works that accurately. There are almost no surprises in the story, and when there is the teensiest trouble (the face mask caused rashes!), someone always comes to the rescue immediately (of course her stepmom is a health freak who just has soothing cream in her medicine cabinet. Really?). And obviously, the ghost mother thing. Note to author: if you're going to incorporate a ghost in the story, at least make it meaningful and realistic! Sherry's ghost mom only took away from the action!

All in all, it wasn't bad. But it's not something that'll haunt/affect me for the rest of my life either.

Radical Rating:  7 hearts: Not without flaws, but overall enjoyable. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hope you enjoyed the review!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: The Hottest State by Ethan Hawke

, 10Ethan Hawke will break your heart. The Hottest State chronicles one year in the life of young, dashing William Harding: aspiring actor and charming lover. When he first meets Sarah, a girl unlike any he's ever seen, he knows from the beginning that he's a goner. She's beautiful. She's elusive. Every little thing she does strikes William greatly. The passion the two share, the chemistry; it's all so surreal, that even he can't believe it. He knows right then and there, that she is the one, that s ...more So I haven't updated Goodreads for at least a year. I've been reading, I've just been too lazy to review. So I'm gonna start again! I obviously can't review every book I read, but just for books I think deserve a review from me, or for books that I've been asked to review (if you are an author and would like to send me an ARC, send it on over! I'd love to read it and post a review!).

I found this book at Goodwill one day when I was scourging for used books. Most of the titles there are really weird (Reaching Heaven: You and Your Ways with God and the People Surrounding You. No thanks). But I found this one and saw the back cover. First of all, Ethan Hawke is quite the hunk (seriously). Maybe not anymore, but back when he was all hip and young, yeah. I didn't even know he had written novels, so being a fan of his movies, and his picture, I purchased the book for 12.5 cents (they were four books for 50 cents. Seriously! That's a good deal if I ever saw one. I highly recommend you go to your local Goodwill the next time you're in need of a good read. It's like a treasure hunt; most of the books there are slightly rubbish, but every once in a while, you find a real gem. Plus, you could save a fortune off of Barnes and Noble). I'm glad I did. Here is Ethan Hawke's The Hottest State: 

The Hottest State
Ethan Hawke

Page Count: 208
Release Date: 1 October, 1996
Publisher: Little, Brown (Hachette Book Group)
Source: Purchased at Goodwill

When William meets Sarah at a bar appropriately called the Bitter End, he is a few months short of his twenty-first birthday and about to act in his first movie. He is so used to getting what he wants that he has never been able to care too deeply for anyone. But all of that is about to change. And it is Sarah—bold and shy, seductive and skittish—who will become William's undoing and his salvation.

William's affair with Sarah will take him from a tenement on the Lower East Side to a hotel room in Paris, from a flip proposal of marriage to the extremities of outraged need and the wisdom that comes only to true survivors.

Ethan Hawke really will break your heart. The Hottest State chronicles one year in the life of young, dashing William Harding: aspiring actor and charming lover. When he first meets Sarah, a girl unlike any he's ever seen, he knows from the beginning he's a goner. She's beautiful. She's elusive. Every little thing she does strikes William greatly. The passion the two share, the chemistry—it's all so surreal, that even he can't believe it. He knows right then and there, she is the one— the one he'll love forever, but little does he realize that although she may be the pursuit of his pleasure now, he is just a twenty-year-old in love; in a year's time, he'll just be a twenty-one-year-old with a broken heart.

The way Hawke captures your interest is enthralling. He makes you become William Harding. I by all means, am not a helpless twenty-year-old boy in love, but throughout reading the book, I really felt like I was. All of William's movements and thoughts, I could relate with... so eerie. When William cried, I felt like crying, and when he got psychotic over his breakup with Sarah, I could feel the pain tugging inside of him. There's this one funny scene where he throws furniture around, and it's not funny like "haha!", but funny because, it's a scene where it should have been a turning point. I should have said "Wow, this William is nuts". But I didn't say that. Instead, I found myself cheering him on, because as crazy as he was, the emotion that was seeping throughout all of it, was so legitimate.

This novel was by far one of them most entertaining novels I've ever read, and not only because I feel like it's something straight out of my own past, or future, for that matter. Ethan Hawke will make you laugh, and he'll make you love William's story, but in the tragic end, Ethan Hawke will break your heart.

Radical Rating: 10 hearts: I'm speechless; this book is an extraordinarily amazingly wonderfully fantastically marvelous masterpiece. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Thanks for reading :)

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♥Stephanie

&never again will i get my ♥ broken because never again will i leave my ♥ open

What's new Buenos Aires? Haha sorry, I just had a little Evita moment right there (otherwise known as: my favorite musical in the whole wide world. Check it out!) ♥

So today, I will talk about heartbreak, which is the most infamous aspect of falling in love.  It's the most painful thing you will ever go through (including childbirth and appendicitis...not that I'm all too experienced in those categories, in the first place) but you must experience it in order to know true love. First of all, what is true love? According to a knowledgeable source (that would be me), love comes in many stages:

1) Physical attraction. As much as well all deny it, love at first sight is never because the person is so delicate and intellectual and sensitive to my annoying-ass bitching, but rather, because they are insanely gorgeous (or sometimes nice-smelling...hey, you never know; I find a guy with an alluring aroma amazingly attractive, if you must pry).

• a. This is the stage of love where you most often make a fool out of yourself, because you're so smitten and tend to either clam up, or ramble nervously. So don't be too frightened; it's only natural.
• b. It's also a very fragile stage. By that, I mean that the smallest action or trait that is even the teeniest bit unattractive, (like nose-picking or chest hair) will make you lose interest. At the same time though, the smallest action or trait that is the teeniest bit attractive (like athletic ability or similar musical interests) will make you go BONKERS and be even more infatuated. So it's very versatile, and it usually marks the point whether you will begin to fall even harder for this certain someone, or whether the attraction will fizzle out.

2) Romance. If you've made it this far into the game, congratulations. More than 50% of my "crushes" usually don't make it to this stage, but if you've got someone who does, well then, great. Romance is when you being to try harder for the person's attention. Both parties play roles of influencing the other, by pampering them with gifts or sweetening them with words.

• a. Sadly, love sometimes dies a little in this stage. Why? Because some people use romance as personal gain; they play with you a little and once they have what they want (like a plasma screen television), they end the relationships. Which sucks, but it happens. So be careful.
  
• b. Flattery, flattery, and more flattery. Some people may call this stage "puppy love" because it's the point where the conversation goes back and forth: You're so cute!...No, YOU'RE so cute!....No, YOU are!! (I just barfed a little in my throat). Anyways, yeah, it's sweet, but it won't be like that forever, just maybe for the first couple weeks (months, at most). Remember, compliment the other person to make them feel better about themself! If you really want to win their heart, it's all about flattery! Put some sugar on that.

3) Intimacy. Now, if you just giggled a little because of the word, "intimacy", you're just being immature. Get outta town.

• a. Obviously, even you can come up with physical attraction. I mean, it's not that hard. Most people abuse intimacy and mistake it for love; they think that intimacy is love, when rather, love is intimacy. It's different, you know? Call it what you wish: passion, cuddling, bonding, sex...it's all doing physical stuff that is out of your regular routine, because you begin to prow a safe, desired feeling when you are with that person.
• b. What's overlooked though, is emotional intimacy. This stage is when you begin to really get to know your lover. You touch their scars and ask how they acquired them, you cautiously ask them about their first time (and though you won't admit it, you're very impatient too). The most crucial thing here, is that it is when trust begins to build. All friendships and relationships are built off trust, and if you don't know the person, you can't really trust them, so consider this the beginning of a very long journey :)
  

4) Commitment. The #1 Killer in the US. Of love, that is. 

• a. You know commitment-phobics. People (usually of one particular gender that I won't discriminate), that are afraid to settle, get serious, or stick with one person for the rest of their life (or until the relationship ends); you know them. Though this isn't the hardest part of a relationship, it definitely is the rarest, because it is very difficult to initiate this "official" together-ness.
• b. It's the last step though. Once two people are committed to each other, nothing else matters, because now they're complete. True, after this comes, marriage, children, et cetera, but that's a whole nother story. It's not about who we meet and how we meet them, but rather, the reason we choose to stay with them until the very end. ♥

No updates on my part. Sorry I haven't been writing for a while, summer's been hectic and unmerciful. Gotta love it though :) I will keep you posted about some more Textnovel stuff, however!

♥always,

Stephanie!