9 Heart Review: My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag by Jolie Kerr + Giveaway! (US/Can)

My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha
Jolie Kerr
Ask a Clean Person | Tumblr | Twitter | Follow the Tour!

Page Count: 238
Release Date: February 25th 2014
Publisher: Plume (Penguin)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher via tour publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Penguin and TLC!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

The author of the hit column "Ask a Clean Person" offers a hilarious and practical guide to cleaning up life’s little emergencies.

Life is filled with spills, odors, and those oh-so embarrassing stains you just can’t tell your parents about. And let’s be honest: no one is going to ask Martha Stewart what to do when your boyfriend barfs in your handbag.

Thankfully, Jolie Kerr has both staggering cleaning knowledge and a sense of humor. With signature sass and straight talk, Jolie takes on questions ranging from the basic (How do I use a mop?) to the esoteric (What should I do when bottles of homebrewed ginger beer explode in my kitchen?). My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag proves that even the most nightmarish cleaning conundrums can be solved with a smile, the right supplies, and a little music.

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | iTunes | Kobo | Publisher

Review

At this point you should be thinking, "So why wouldn't everyone just use [laundry detergent] pods?" Well, I'll tell you! They present a serious hazard to children and pets, in that they're brightly colored and sort of look like fun toys and they're also just about mouth-size, and you see where I'm going with this? Right, of course you do. So it's something to take into consideration if you've got children and/or pets. You could, of course, get rid of the children and/or pets, which would allow you to use pods with impunity and also would mean you'd have a lot less laundry in general. But I understand that some people feel rather attached to those children and/or pets, so if you want to choose a podless, laundry-riddled existence, be my guest.

Cleaning isn't the most thrilling chore I could think of—in fact, I can say with certainty that no one actually looks forward to the dirtiest job around—but Jolie Kerr's devotion and simply outlined tips really make me want to get my butt off the couch and clean the damn house. It's like when you read food blogs and become motivated to start taking the time to cook and eat healthier; I see someone being really productive with their life which motivates me to at least attempt to reach that level.

The trick is that Kerr actually makes cleaning seem fun; her enthusiasm is contagious and her anecdotes uproariously funny. She's kooky, fanatical, and just becomes your weird best friend who loves cleaning—a hyped-up Martha Stewart, you could say. But unlike Martha, Jolie Kerr isn't a domestic ideal; she's been through real world, real girl problems (like boyfriends barfing in handbags) and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty—literally.

My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag is conveniently sectioned off into eight different cleaning categories:

1. Kitchen
2. Floors, Ceilings, Walls, and Other Immovable Things
3. Bathroom
4. Personal Hygiene Tools and Appliances (brushes, hair dryers, razors, etc.)
5. Wedding Cleaning
6. Laundry
7. Car
8. Things You Really Can't Ask Martha (or Mom, for that Matter)

I love how each chapter is outlined, making the book all the more useful as a reference tool. Just look up your problem area in the index and you'll find the solution Kerr suggests—super easy!

I was pleasantly surprised by how helpful the guide is. There's lots of cleaning advice that I have never come across (or, let's be honest—have never had the opportunity to need) before, things that aren't just common knowledge. The book is filled with comprehensive tables and charts that streamline specific cleaning methods and materials; it's a nice break from huge chunks of text every once in a while. And to make your life even easier, Kerr provides DIY cleaning solution recipes—made with ingredients that are probably already in your cupboards!—as well as specific brands and products she recommends for targeted problems.

There's definitely a lot of spunk in Kerr's voice, but that's what makes the book so entertaining; the rambling, direct style doesn't hold back. There's absolutely no BS and readers are taken straight to the emergency, no matter how mortifying—and isn't that what we all want in a cleaning guide?

Pros

Extensive, easy-to-follow tips for any spill and situation // Humorous, light // Organized into sections (bathroom, kitchen, car, etc.) // Helpful graphics to compare and contrast different cleaning methods

Cons

A reference book... not exactly something I would sit down and read cover to cover

Love

This isn't a word-for-word excerpt, but just a condensed tip I got from the book and wanted to share with you guys:

Ever pull off a shirt or dress only to see some of your makeup rubbed off onto the garment? Ugh! To get rid of foundation stains from clothes, rub the area gently with a baby wipe or makeup remove wipe. Be sure to be gentle enough not to push the stain even deeper into the fabric. Then, throw it in the wash.

For trickier, oilier stains such as lipstick or mascara stains on clothing, do the same thing except with rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball instead of a baby wipe. The makeup should slide right off. Convenient, right?

Verdict

Highly charged, full of personality, and conscientiously charming, My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag is a stylish but frenetic cleaning guide for the everyday woman in everyday situations. With advice that ranges from generic but crucial (how to do laundry in a way that won't wear clothes out, how to clean the toilet, how to get rid of mildew, etc.) to ridiculously specific and quirky (how to deal with a Laffy Taffy that's melted in your pocket, how to get embarrassing fluids out of your bedsheets, how to even wrap your head around poop stains, etc.), this book is a handy reference tool that's simultaneously thoroughly entertaining. Jolie Kerr zealously combines chick-lit with how-to by contributing her and her readers' own experiences, just for kicks—who knew cleaning would be so fun to read? 

9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf (x)

Giveaway!

Books à la Mode is giving away one finished print copy of My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag—yay!! To enter, all you have to do is tell me:

Share one of your favorite cleaning "life-hacks"—any sort of tip or trick you use to clean that may make everyone's life just a little easier!

Don't forget to include your email address or Twitter username in your comment so I know who to contact when I choose a winner. Don't make me track you down!!!! No email = No entry!

Please make your comment MEANINGFUL. Comments solely consisting of stock responses or irrelevant fluff like "Thanks for the giveaway!" will not be considered for entry. Jolie and I really want to hear from you guys! :)

Don't forget the entry eligibility terms and conditions!

Sponsored wholly by the tour publicist and publisher—a huge thank you to TLC and Penguin!
Giveaway ends May 1st at 11.59 PM (your time).

Open to US and Canada residents only—sorry, international readers! Check out my sidebar for a list of currently running giveaways that are open worldwide—there are plenty to choose from!
Void where prohibited.

Winners have 48 hours to claim their prize once they are chosen, or else their winnings will be forfeited.
Although I do randomly select winners, I am in no way responsible for prizes, nor for shipping and handling.

As a reminder, you do not have to follow my blog to enter, though it is always very much appreciated ❤

Good luck!

7 Heart Review: Our Song by Jordanna Fraiberg

Read my fascinating interview with the author—which gives so much insight to the book—by clicking here!

Our Song
Jordanna Fraiberg

Page Count: 352
Release Date: 2 May 2013
Publisher: Razorbill (Penguin Group)
Source: Complimentary ARC provided by publisher in exchange for an honest and unbiased review for the Itching for Books virtual book tour (thank you!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Olive Bell has spent her entire life in the beautiful suburb of Vista Valley, with a picture-perfect home, a loving family, and a seemingly perfect boyfriend. But after a near-fatal car accident, she's haunted by a broken heart and a melody that she cannot place.

Then Olive meets Nick. He's dark, handsome, mysterious... and Olive feels connected to him in a way she can’t explain. Is there such a thing as fate? The two embark on a whirlwind romance—until Nick makes a troubling confession.

Heartbroken, Olive pieces together what really happened the night of her accident and arrives at a startling revelation. Only by facing the truth can she uncover the mystery behind the song and the power of what it means to love someone.

Buy the book at: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | Sony eStore | Kobo

Review

Olive's carefully constructed life comes crashing down in the wake of an accident that should have, and almost, left her dead. For the first time she is forced—against her Martha Stewart-mother's will—to face imperfection, to face flaws, and it is only when she finally admits to them, she begins to see clearly who the ones that love her are, and just how special a place they hold.

Olive doesn't want to satisfy the expectations of her mother—the mother who prunes her social circle as she prunes her petunias—and realizes she needs to escape the suffocating grasp of Vista Valley, where she hasn't ventured more than a hundred miles past since she was born, all the more. Enter: Nick, a brooding, devastating British bad boy with a penchant for spontaneity and a wicked, wicked smile. And suddenly, Olive is free. Olive is happy. And if she allows herself to, Olive just might find what she's looking for...

Simply put, Our Song is a sweet, coming-of-age YA romance—nothing riveting, but accurately tender in some parts and emotive of teenage angst, insecurity, and heartache in others. There are so many different issues raised in this teen novel, including friendship, rebellion, sexuality, dating danger(ously handsome boys...), the aftermath of a near-death, and of course, Olive's haunting song. They're all great topics, but I was disappointed by how none of them are fully explored, just sort of dabbled in, and then neglected. They do have proper ties at the end of the book, but it's like the author introduced these great plot points, ignored them, and then brought them back up in the closing chapters just to form a clean conclusion.

I had a bit of an issue with Olive. It's not that she's difficult to sympathize with—in fact, I'd say her frustrations and hard-headed determination are easy to relate to—but she just isn't portrayed in a very likable light; through the story's progression, she grows and realizes her mistakes and, as with most young adult novels, she learns from them, but her general attitude towards her friends and naïve ignorance of her surroundings makes her a hard character to grow on. This was mainly a problem for me since she narrates the story first-person; whenever I got annoyed with her, I was still stuck with her because we only ever get to see through her (narrow) perspective.

Nick, on the other hand... I could use a guy like him in my life! He's wonderfully portrayed (let's not kid anyone here, I had a big-time swoon-fest while reading about him), but poorly developed. As a person he seems wonderful and charming and BRITISH♥ but as a book character, he's too quick in his affections for Olive—making him rather unrealistic—and two-dimensional. I thought his troubling past would really add depth to him, but there's really no suspense nor a huge bang leading up to his "dark" secret... it's just suddenly revealed, which was not only anticlimactic, but also further weakened his character.

Fraiberg is a storyteller at heart and really knows how to integrate the protagonist's point of view into the novel. Stylistically, Our Song is straightforward and contemporary in tone; this could be your own diary.

Pros

Great voice // Fraiberg captures teen spirit perfectly // Authentic depiction of high school horrors // I want Annie as my best friend! // Story moves quickly and smoothly; constantly left me wanting more // Evocative of Los Angeles and surrounding areas // Clean, chaste romance

Cons

Olive is rather bratty // As much as I loved Nick, he isn't anything special... mostly because he's underdeveloped as a character and because his big dark "secret" is too hurried at the end // Olive's romance with Nick, mysterious song, emotional healing, and coming-to-terms with self are all a bit disjointed

Love

There was just a thin piece of cotton separating us, and I could practically feel his warm skin through my sleeve. It was like the charged cackle of static electricity. We weren't touching, but almost. Maybe it was better this way, standing on the edge, suspended in between, where you can't get your hopes up too high or your heart broken.

Verdict

Jordanna Fraiberg's newest novel is a fast-moving account of Olive's post-tragedy struggles that touches upon the pain of heartbreak, the true meaning of love and companionship, and the importance of accepting second chances. As heavy as the topics of this book are, the story itself doesn't go too deeply into them, so for the most part, this was a light, undemanding read—although it does have its share of bleak, depressing notes. I was disappointed by the lack of complexity and weightier content, but still enjoyed Our Song regardless. This is a fun, believable, and ultimately touching book, and simultaneously a fantastic addition to the YA and middle-grade genres 

7 hearts: Not perfect, but overall enjoyable (x)

Read my fascinating interview with the author—which gives so much insight to the book—by clicking here!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Betrayal by Robin Lee Hatcher

Betrayal (Where the Heart Lives #2)
Robin Lee Hatcher

Page Count: 255
Release Date: 13 November 2012
Publisher: Zondervan
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)

Can two wounded hearts find a way to trust again?

It's the turn of the twentieth century and drifter Hugh Brennan is a man well acquainted with betrayal. Hugh finds himself drawn to the attractive widow, Julia, yet when he looks into her eyes, he recognizes the same hurt that haunts him. 

Julia Grace has little reason to trust men, but she's going to have to trust someone if she's to keep her ranch from the clutches of her dead husband's half-brother. Is it possible God had a hand in bringing Hugh to her door? 

The latest historical romance from award-winning author Robin Lee Hatcher and the second book in the Where the Heart Lives series, Betrayal will take you to the high desert of western Wyoming, through the crags of the Rocky Mountains, and into the hearts of two seekers learning to trust God's love no matter the circumstances.

Review

On the small farm of Sage-hen, off of Pine Creek, Wyoming, God tests the bonds of love on two broken, desperate individuals: Hugh Brennan and Julia Grace. Both have troublesome pasts that still haunt them, and both are clinging onto their faiths as tightly as they can... because they know that if they don't, they just might let go.

Hugh is burdened by an unjust accusation of a crime; he served the sentence he didn't deserve, and now he wants a fresh start. By fate, he meets Julia, who can both give and accept the help Hugh needs and has, allowing the two to slowly, steadily depend on each other. In a stormy battle between desire and committal to God, painful, unfair pasts are slowly and elaborately unraveled. I loved being able to get each Hugh and Julia's backstories little by little; it definitely kept me reading. I found it very admirable how both characters' faiths remained solid even after all they went through. They're strong people—good people—and for sticking with the Lord even when betrayed by those they loved most, they deserve each other in every aspect.

Julia is not likable. Her work offer to Hugh very generous, considering the financial situation she is in her late husband, Angus's, wake, but she's unaffectionate, which I think transpires largely due to the stiff, unfeeling dialogue. I found this to be the case in the first book in this series, Belonging; all the conversations are weak, often one-worded, and sometimes just plain unfriendly. 

Hugh, on the other hand, I liked. He's charming and the perfect gentleman, though not much of a swoon-worthy masculine hero. He's kind and virtuous, though, so I couldn't ask for a better protagonist. Through all of the characters—minor ones included—and especially through Hatcher's gorgeous, literary voice, I really felt an emotional resonance from all the relationships. Unfortunately, Julia and Hugh's "romance" was a little lacking because it's very chaste and there's no specific indication of more-than-friends feelings until the last few pages, but as a Christian novel, it successfully portrays love from all perspectives. Love isn't about being sexual or romantic; it's about finding oneself, and better yet, finding a better self within another person. In each other, Hugh and Julia find an escape from lonely childhoods, abusive pasts, and the pain of loss—an escape from the normal; such abnormality is absolutely wonderful.

My main issue with the book is the central conflicts: they're too stale. They revolve around the impending threat of Julia losing Sage-hen due to an uncertain investment, as well as the relationship with her mother that she still has the power—but not the courage—to repair. There is plenty of rising tension, but both are resolved way to quickly, way too easily; essentially, there is no climax, which is something I feel every story needs. I would have liked to see a bit of suspense, a bit of a struggle!

Betrayal makes the perfect stand-alone novel because there are no recurring situations or main characters from the first book in the series, but readers of Belonging will rejoice Hugh's reunion with his sister, Felicia, whom he has not seen since their separation upon being orphaned. This part was heartwarming, but very brief and hasted. There's no jubilant meeting scene, only a few sentences describing how Hugh finds her in Frenchman's Bluff, Idaho. I wish their reunion would have been elaborated upon.

Pros

Beautiful writing style and flow // Grounded, moral characters // Hugh is good-natured and a great character // Great cast of secondary characters // Livable, breathable historical setting // Strong Christian undertone // Not preachy // Tragic pasts are slowly revealed, which makes the reader holding on // Hugh reunites with his long-lost sister, Felicia

Cons

Passive conflicts // Julia lacks compassion // Very little romance // Said "romance" isn't very believable // Dialogue is too cool and clipped

Love

[Julia] swallowed the questions. She would let [Hugh] keep his secrets so she could keep hers.

Verdict

While the main conflicts are weakly resolved and the dialogue tends to flatten out, the emotional turmoil, unfaltering faith, and wild determination in Betrayal will strengthen readers' trust and warm their hearts. This is a story about renewal, about redemption, about leaving the things of the past in the past, and focusing on God and on the future; Hatcher's silky, glimmering prose leads it on seamlessly.

7 hearts: Not without flaws, but overall enjoyable. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Belonging by Robin Lee Hatcher

Belonging (Where the Heart Lives #1)
Robin Lee Hatcher

Page Count: 277
Release Date: 23 August 2011
Publisher: Zondervan
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!!)

Can two bitter pasts make one sweet future?

In the high desert town of Frenchman's Bluff, Idaho, Felicia Kristoffersen has set out to create a future for herself that is better than her painful past. Alone in the world with only her faith to sustain her, she must prove herself as this tiny community's new school teacher. She cannot, must not, fail. But, there are those who never wanted her there to begin with.

Five years after the death of his wife, local merchant Colin Murphy cares about just one thing: raising his daughter, Charity. Colin wants to give her the educational advantages he never had. The new schoolmarm's inexperience doesn't sit well with him, and if this teacher up and marries like the last one did, Charity's heart will be broken once again.

A woman who hasn't known love. A man who lost the love he had.

In the midst of the wide, sage-covered plains, each is about to discover that life's bitterest circumstances truly can work together for good.

Review

At ten, Felicia Brennan Kristofferson was orphaned; at twenty-six, she was orphaned for the second time. The deaths of her adoptive parents leaves her completely independent—save the malicious "cousin" who wants her to marry into the Kristofferson family to face the fate of inevitable domestic houselife—so the teaching job that brings her to Frenchman's Bluff, Idaho, is a haven—a godsend. 

The small, close-knit town welcomes Felicia with open arms, but there are a few who underestimate and actually disapprove of her position. Their suspicions are not without reason, however; the previous two schoolteachers each stayed less than one year each, before marrying off and ditching the children completely, so some parents are concerned she just may be taking advantage of the job, as the others did.

Felicia's incredible dedication to her career, her students, and to God, however, proves that she only has one motive to be in Frenchman's Bluff, and that is to serve the Lord and the children. Her heart contains nothing pureness, and maybe a few nostalgic bruises; she is determined to take this fresh start and make it right. I was amazed at how well and how deeply her character is explored. All of the characters are remarkably well-developed, secondary characters included. I loved the good guys and hated the bad; Hatcher makes it very easy to tap into the minds of each cast member, from the main character, to the antagonist, which I know is not an easy feat in and of itself.

The plot is tasteful and well-crafted, incorporating bits of Christian values smoothly. The storyline is not terribly exciting, but it's planned perfectly, and mighty clever. The development of Felicia's relationships with all the townspeople, as well as with Colin and Charity, is a real treat. While I did like how the inspirational messages weren't forced, I did feel sometimes the book was unreasonably preachy. Felicia silently prays or makes a plea to God at every ill thought and every remote turn in plan; not only is this slightly annoying, but it's also unnecessary. As a character, she's irritatingly sensitive; she tears up at every reminder of her past. I know it's sad, and I know she's a fragile woman, but that kind of behavior is girly (in a bad way) and weak. I would have liked to have seen more strength from Felicia—the kind of strength acquired over ten years, of overcoming the heartbreak of being torn apart from family at a young age. Colin's character is a bit more relatable; he too, has an upsetting past, but his safe, widowed, day-to-day life is his own way of recovery. His dedication to his daughter, especially, is incredibly real and hits close to home.

Stylistically, Hatcher is a gem. Her words flow smoothly and beautifully. The procession of the story moves seamlessly; I didn't have to plod through it at all! One thing that did irk me was the curtness of the dialogue: lots of one-worded responses from not just one, but all of the characters. Maybe this was the norm in 1897, but to me, it just sounds unwelcoming. The deep probing of—the scars, fears, and secrets of—each of the characters' minds makes up for it, though. I really have no complaints on how Hatcher chose to portray her characters fully.

I cannot confidently classify this as a romance novel. In the traditional sense, yes, it's a romance in that boy meets girl on the first page and boy gets girl by the last, but it's rather unorthodox. There is no attraction—in fact, there is unattraction—until about halfway throughout. Then small, totally non-sexual, tingly feelings rise in Colin and Felicia's stomachs whenever they see each other—more than a several times—and then they abruptly SPOILER get married and live happily ever after. I will say their relationship is complex, especially with Colin's initial reservations and Felicia's interaction with his young daughter, but it just didn't seem at all romantic to me. It bothered me that Colin's character is compromised when it is revealed that he never was in love with his wife. He loved her, of course, and is still grieving her death, but his marriage to her is described as "practical." I feel this is uncharacteristic and was only included so that his relationship could further with Felicia. Again, this makes the so-called romance unrealistic and a bit stilted. For a content advisory, there isn't one; the romance is 100% chaste (absolutely no sex, absolutely no physical interaction except at the end—in hindsight, this may be why I didn't enjoy it as much) because it sticks to traditional 19th century Christian values.

The power of staying faithful to God and leading life with a pure, wholesome outlook prove to be the key to happiness in Belonging. Through Felicia, readers understand and rejoice because, no matter what troubles and turmoils arise, God always saves and protects. Accidents will occur, plans will be ruined, and people will try to get in the way, but in the end, maintaining a loving, kind heart is what makes individuals truly belong.

Pros

Amazing character development // Easy, smooth flow to story; book moves and finishes quickly // Well-penned writing style // Colin and Felicia have a strong rapport, though not necessarily a romance // Strong morals on family and love // Believable situations and characters // Not too dense with historical information; fictional town and setting actually quite charming

Cons

Slightly preachy in religious message // Felicia is pathetic at times // Romance is poorly developed // Dialogue sometimes unrealistic and lacks emotion

Love

Kathleen could scarcely believe those words had come out of her mouth ... She must be losing her mind.

Or perhaps she was beginning to find it.

Verdict

Belonging is a heartwarming, clean, and gorgeously-crafted Christian historical that encompasses an absence—and a discovery—of belonging, a passion for God, and a huge misunderstanding, or rather: several small misunderstandings that constitute for one conflict of fate. By demonstrating the importance of determination, dedication, and faith, Belonging conveys the almighty power of love—for God, for family, and for oneself through one woman's search for a place to belong. The religious undertone is strong, and the characterization, stronger; Hatcher has succeeded in telling an inspirational, absorbing, and completely feel-good story. 

8 hearts: An engaging read; highly recommended. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥: Called Home: Two Hearts Answer by Gloria Schumann

Called Home: Two Hearts Answer
Gloria Schumann

Release Date: May 8th, 2010

Publisher: Savant

Page Count: 333

Source: Complimentary copy provided by author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)

Emma Benson's view of life was crafted by the death of her brother as a child, abandonment by her father and later, the man she trusted she would marry, until...

David Schlosser—back in town after years in New York writing best-selling novels—threatens her neatly tended life. Romance blooms. Emma and David eventually persevere in the face of tragedy, refusing to leave their dreams behind.

Sweet small town romances can turn out one of two ways: tragically emotional and heartbreaking, or undeniably corny. Called Home: Two Hearts Answer contains all the elements of the latter; the sequence of the story is predictable and bland. I don't feel the "chemistry" between Emma and David, but it's portrayed like it's strong and passionate (but to me, it isn't. At all). Their relationship seems rushed, forced, and fake, as if it was scripted for a clichéd romance novel.

The main reason I think I can't feel the love between Emma and David is because of their personalities. They're both highly dislikable; Emma acts stingily and as if she's eleven years old—and god, she is SUCH a prude—and David is too demanding and cocky. While I can bring myself up to ignore David (because most men are demanding and cocky anyway), I just want to slap Emma in the wherever-it-would-be-most-painful. That girl's got something shoved up her ass! And she's in denial for the majority of the book too; though she kisses David and fantasizes about him in a more-than-platonic way, she won't admit she even likes him until the very end. She can't not only admit her love, but her LIKE for him until the very end. Like I said before—is she eleven years old? What does it take to act civilly towards a guy who hasn't touched a hair on her head?

Regardless, David seems stunned by her as a woman. I find nothing extraordinary about Emma, by the manner of her speech, attitude, and style, and yet David is still perplexed by her femininity, beauty, grace, and all that other crap. This is why I find their relationship unlikely; Schumann does a poor job of convincing me that they could really fall for each other. Another reason for this may be the chastity. No love scenes are consummated, and aside from heavy kissing, nothing happens. Nothing. While I appreciate this in a sweet contemporary romance, it also seems unlikely in a real-life relationship.

Aside from the nonexistent connection between the characters, another problem I have with this book is the unnecessarily detailed and superfluous writing style. Schumann expounds the exact descriptions of attire (and furniture, exteriors, cars, etc.), names of minor (and once-appearing) characters, and redundant facts (such as "The silence was not at all awkward. Emma found it very comfortable." Oh, really? Because I thought an unawkward silence would be totally uncomfortable).

One thing I will give props to, is the structure of the story. The plot is coherent and consistent, and therefore easy to follow. I don't find this an easy read persay, since the language tends to drag on and repeat itself, but the events happen in order and are reflected back upon, facilitating my understanding of the occurring action. The mystery, though easily predictable, is frightening and overall well-crafted. The pace doesn't pick up until the temperature starts heating (in a life-threatening way, not sexually)—but that isn't until the last quarter or so of the book. I think lovers of a good, clean romance will find this one enjoyable, but I personally didn't like it that much.

Stephanie Loves: "The best way to insinuate oneself from the inevitable beating that reality gave you is to dispense with the dreaming in the first place."

Radical Rating: 5 hearts: Doesn't particularly light any of my fires; I feel indifferent about this book. ♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Listen to the Ghost by Beverly Stowe McClure

Listen to the Ghost 
Beverly Stowe McClure

Page Count: 164
Release Date: 15 November, 2005
Publisher: Twilight Times Books
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)

All seventeen-year-old Jade Dalton wants to do is show her paintings at Charleston, South Carolina's, annual Piccolo Spoleto Festival, swim in the ocean, forget Kurt Sinclair, her ex-boyfriend and his lying lips, and prove she's as perfect as her brother, David. So how does she end up with Phoebe, a ghost who doesn't want to be a ghost; Doc, a one-hundred-year-old neighbor who talks in riddles; and Matt, a gorgeous saxophone player who changes her opinion about guys?

Jade and Matt are soon caught up in a desperate search for two wedding bands that will set Phoebe free. They must find the rings by Jade's eighteenth birthday, the same day that Phoebe was to marry her fiancé, Isaac, in 1923, or she is doomed to remain a ghost for eternity.

Listen to the Ghost is a cheery, meaningful novel for preteens and teens that dabbles on the importance of friendship, family, and perseverance. 

After a messy breakup, all Jade wants to do is have a fun-filled, drama-free summer with her best friend and brother at her grandparents' mansion in her favorite town. The only problem? There's a rumor going around that the house is haunted, and to Jade's horror, the ghost may just be haunting her! 

But Phoebe (yes, the ghost has a name) isn't just doing it for kicks and giggles; Phoebe needs something from Jade, and she needs it before time runs out. When Phoebe reveals who she is, or rather, who she was, Jade realizes she really needs to help Phoebe out, or else Phoebe may remain a meandering ghost forever—something that could affect her and her family's lives. 

Beverly Stowe McClure creates an original, witty plot full of suspense, as well as creepy spine-tingling situations.

What I find a little "off" about this novel, is how evident it is that the narrator is not a teenager. Jade is seventeen going on eighteen, and obviously not many young adult authors are that age. However, the reason most young adult authors are so successful is because their voice and diction are both as fresh as young readers today. I'm not saying McClure is a bad writer, because she certainly isn't. But her writing is a little too chaste, as if she doesn't know how real teenagers act, or how they should act. Teenagers are inappropriate, they are moody, they are horny and angry and enthusiastic. McClure's characters are rather flat, and seem too polite, which is not very believable.

Listen to the Ghost itself is a great story, but I wish it had been written from a more perceptive viewpoint. One that really captures the essence of adolescent frustration, rather than innocence that is probably very hard to find and relate to in our modern teenage world.

Stephanie Loves: "'It has been a long day,' [Matt] said. 'I'll walk with you. I have some things to do, like planning my next assault on old boyfriends, should they decide to cause more trouble.'
[Jade] couldn't tell whether he was serious or joking. 'Kurt's not all bad,' she said. 'Actually, I owe him a thank you.'
'How's that?'
'He taught me a valuable lesson—not to believe everything a guy tells me.'"

Radical Rating: 7 hearts: Not without flaws, but overall enjoyable. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Starless Sky by Paige Agnew

Starless Sky
Paige Agnew

Page Count: 456
Release Date: 20 January, 2010
Publisher: Trafford (self-published)
Source: Jen at Romancing the Book for review

Life is funny sometimes. Little kids drop ice cream cones, people in general often run in to screen doors, there's even the occasional moment when one might trip going up the stairs. Kahlen could expect those things, deal with them even. But what she didn't expect, not even in her wildest, horrific nightmares, that just as something so terrible could happen, something so wonderful could follow after it.

When Kahlen Thomas has a difficult time dealing with the lost of her best and only friend, she has hopes that the new boy at school, Kennley Morgan, will be the perfect distraction from her pain. She slowly realizes that Kennley doesn't as much distract her from her problems as much as he adds to them because of his own interesting past.

What Stephanie Thought: Teenage heartbreak and fallen innocence are portrayed magnificently in Starless Sky. Having written the novel when the author was a teenager herself, Paige Agnew captures the essence of how much it sucks being a teenager, but how beautiful it can be too.

Starless Sky was enjoyable because of how much I could relate to both the scenario of troublesome high school days (the stresses of excruciating homework, boyfriend troubles, and friendship drama) as well as the main character, Kahlen's dilemma of not being able to come out of her shell completely. Labeled the school "bitch" (though to many, the "pretty bitch"), Kahlen, a self-declared introvert and failure, loses her best and only friend, Emma, to a terrifying car accident the beginning of junior year. If that isn't desolate enough, she almost immediately after Emma's death, falls into an intoxicating, mind-whirling relationship with the new bad boy in town, Kennley—one she isn't sure she can get out of. Kennley is everything a girl could want: impeccably smart, rich, popular, insanely good-looking, polite, funny, and best of all, he seems to have a huge thing for Kahlen. But Kahlen can't help but think there's something a little off about him. Something she can't quite put her finger upon.

For starters, he's secretive. He takes "important" phone calls randomly, always skips class, and admits to have getting kicked out of his old school for inappropriate behavior. As open as he is to Kahlen, there seems to be something else that he is hiding as well.

In the end, Kahlen finally discovers the secret—to both Kennley, and to herself. But the painful journey of getting there is what hurts the most, and every reader, age uninhibited, will be able to relate to each and every emotion.

Unlike many of the nitty-gritty young adult novels I've read, this one is methodically clean. It's one of those books your parents would let you read (as opposed to the Gossip Girl series or whatever). The romance is mild (kissing is the farthest Kahlen and Kennley go—although there is one attempted rape scene [nothing happens, and it doesn't involve Kennley] that may frighten younger audiences). The only drugs that appear are ones dealt by Kennley's friends (aka the bad influences)—but they are described by Kahlen in a way that they are terrible and unfathomable and you should never ever use them. The closest to swearing the characters come to are "heck" and once, "bitch". Probably the cleanest romance I've read all year ;)

This book, the plot, the characters, everything, was one I held on to and didn't want to let go of. But it is desperate need of an editor. I understand it's a self-published title, but aside from the weak verbs and adjectives (I found too many "very"s and "good"s), the flaws in the construction of the writing were really difficult to swim through. Most were petty little things like "it's" instead of "its", "there" instead of "their", and "lost" instead of "loss" (if you didn't catch that in the above blurb), but nonetheless, shouldn't a book, regardless of writing style and topic, at least have those fundamentals down and accurate? I learned how to distinguish between "it's" and "its" et al when I was in second grade. I'm not saying Agnew is less intelligent than a second grader; I'm just saying her writing assembly makes the reader assume that. 

Grammar and spelling apart, another thing I want to pick at are the incredible clichés throughout the entire novel. There is a fine line between profound and overused; Agnew seems not to understand that. The adage of the whole book is "Life without love is like a starless sky". Okay, obviously we know where the title of the novel came from. But honestly? Is it just me or are the "Life without love"s getting a little old? It's not that I don't comprehend what a starless sky is. I know what a starless sky is. It's bland. I know what a life without love is too. It's bland. Isn't that common sense though? If one attempts to make something sound so powerful and poetic, they should at least get the syllabic correct. "Life without love is like a sky without stars" would have sounded better than "Life without love is like a starless sky", even. Not any more penetrating, just slightly less awkward. I really shook my head at Agnew's attempts to be deep; almost laughed at it, in fact. The only thing is, she wasn't even trying to be funny—she was completely serious.

I really can't say I recommend this book as a whole, but I did enjoy the story Agnew weaves. I admit I am a little weary of the countless number of mistakes I found, but if some big-house publisher picks this one up and decides to sieve it and refine it until its pages bleed, I'd be willing to give it another chance. We'll see what happens.

Stephanie Loves: "It couldn't be more obvious that she was drunk. I had seen her a bit tipsy before but never like this. Even though she didn't know what she was saying she still meant it. A drunken girl's actions are a sober girl's desires. Her words hurt."

Radical Rating: 7 hearts: Not without flaws, but overall enjoyable. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Top Ten Uses for an Unworn Prom Dress by Tina Ferraro

There are some books that make you want to rip your roots out of your head (example), and then there are some that are so easy and breezy to read/comprehend, that you can't keep your hands off it. Top Ten Uses for an Unworn Prom Dress by Tina Ferraro was a book of the latter description. There's nothing that I like better in a book, than the style it portrays, of "beach read":

Top Ten Uses for an Unworn Prom Dress
Tina Ferraro

Page Count: 240
Release Date: 13 March, 2007
Publisher: Delacorte (Random House)
Source: Received a copy as a gift from the author, with no expectations of a review, let alone a positive one (thank you, Tina!!!)

Sophomore year, Nicolette Antonovich was dumped two days before prom by the hottest guy at school. As a result, she became the proud owner of one unworn, perfectly magical pink vintage dress. But Nic is determined to put that night behind her for good. She's a junior now— older, wiser, and completely overwhelmed by a new set of problems: (1) The bank's ready to foreclose on her childhood home. (2) Her father's too busy with his "replacement" daughter to care. (3) Her best friend's brother is an eternal thorn in her side. (4) Her best friend isn't exactly the rose attached to that thorn. (5) Rumors are flying around school that could get her kicked off the volleyball team, which would (6) ruin all chances of a college scholarship. (7) She still likes the boy who dumped her in the first place. (8) And what in the world do you do with an unworn prom dress, anyway? Strangely, it's getting to the bottom of this last dilemma that just might hold the answer to all Nic's problems.

Tina Ferraro makes reading so fun. Not only was the plot lively and enjoyable, but her style is just so... me. I felt like I was Nic, I felt like I could apply to all the concerns she had.

Every girl has gotten her heart b r o k e n by a guy she's smitten with. Every girl has experienced unrequited love within the high school hierarchy, because there's always that one boy she's in love with, that's put his heart in another girl's hands. Well, that's Nic.

See, she gets asked to prom by the boy of her dreams, but, nightmare of all nightmares: the night of, his out-of-town girlfriend is suddenly so in-town, and she gets stood up. The horror!

But maybe getting stood up by a guy who you've always liked, but never really gotten to know, isn't so bad after all. Maybe it'll give you freedom to do other things, like practice for the volleyball team, or maybe, just maybe, you'll have room to realize that your crush was superficial, and that there's someone else out there, who'll be good to you like they really mean it. And you never know—there just might be a better use for that unworn prom dress (still hanging in your closet), that will make skipping prom all the more worthwhile, that you would never have imagined.

With the quirky and intriguing voice of a distressed high school student that every girl has been, Tina Ferraro creates a fast-paced, heartwarming page-turner that teaches the value of the prettier things in life, and the value of a really nice prom dress too.

Radical Rating: 8 hearts: An engaging read; highly recommended. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

You could tell I felt like really messing around with colors today...and evidently, the review/description colors are inverted. Might keep it this way. Have a marvelous rest of the week!