Closed Doors by Lisa O’Donnell Giveaway! (US only)

Closed Doors
Lisa O’Donnell

In this tense and brilliant tale from the national bestselling author of The Death of Bees, a young boy on a small Scottish island, where everyone knows everything about everyone else, discovers that a secret can be a dangerous thing.

Eleven-year-old Michael Murray is the best at two things: hacky sack and keeping secrets. His family thinks he's too young to hear grown-up stuff, but he listens at doors—it's the only way to find out anything. And Michael's heard a secret, one that may explain the bruises on his mother's face.

When the whispers at home and on the street become too loud to ignore, Michael begins to wonder if there is an even bigger secret he doesn't know about. Scared of what might happen if anyone finds out, and desperate for life to return to normal, Michael sets out to piece together the truth. But he also has to prepare for the upcoming talent show, keep an eye out for Dirty Alice—his archnemesis from down the street—and avoid eating Granny's watery stew.

Closed Doors is the startling new novel from Lisa O'Donnell, the acclaimed author of The Death of Bees. It is a vivid evocation of the fears and freedoms of childhood and a powerful tale of love, of the loss of innocence, and of the importance of family in difficult times.

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About the Author

Lisa O’Donnell won the Orange Screenwriting Prize in 2000 for her screenplay The Wedding Gift. Her debut novel, The Death of Bees, was the winner of the 2013 Commonwealth Book Prize. Closed Doors was originally published last year and was recently reissued and is now on tour. Lisa currently lives in Scotland.

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Giveaway!

Books à la Mode is giving away one finished print copy of Closed Doors—yay!! To enter, all you have to do is tell me:

What's an interesting or funny secret someone has told you, or you've told someone else? Don't share it if it's still top-secret obviously, but rather make it anonymous or name one that's already been revealed!

One of my good friends pierced her own ears in middle school—ouch!—and she made me keep it from her mom. It was a huge burden on me because I was close with both her and her mom, and saw both of them quite frequently! I was so afraid it would somehow slip, but I managed to keep it on the downlow ;)

Please make your comment MEANINGFUL. Comments solely consisting of stock responses or irrelevant fluff like "Thanks for the giveaway!" will not be considered for entry. Lisa and I really want to hear from you guys! :)

Don't forget the entry eligibility terms and conditions!

Sponsored wholly by the tour publicist and publisher—a huge thank you to TLC and Harper Collins!
Giveaway ends July 7th at 11.59 PM (your time).

Open to US residents only—sorry, international readers! Check out my sidebar for a list of currently running giveaways that are open worldwide—there are plenty to choose from!
Void where prohibited.

Winners have 48 hours to claim their prize once they are chosen, or else their winnings will be forfeited.
Although I do randomly select winners, I am in no way responsible for prizes, nor for shipping and handling.

As a reminder, you do not have to follow my blog to enter, though it is always very much appreciated ❤

Good luck!

9 Heart Review: The Heiresses by Sara Shepard

The Heiresses (Heiresses #1)
Sara Shepard

Page Count: 320
Release Date: May 12th 2014
Publisher: Harper (Harper Collins)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher via tour publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Harper Collins and TLC!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

You know the Saybrooks. Everyone does. Perhaps you've read a profile of them in People or have seen their pictures in the society pages of Vogue. Perhaps while walking along that choice block on Fifth Avenue, you've been tempted to enter the ornate limestone building with their family name etched into the pediment above the door.

The only thing more flawless than a Saybrook's diamond solitaire is the family behind the jewelry empire. Beauties, entrepreneurs, debutantes, and style mavens, they are the epitome of New York City's high society. But being a Saybrook comes at a price—they are heirs not only to a dizzying fortune but also to a decades-old family curse.

Tragedy strikes the prominent family yet again when thirty-four-year-old Poppy, the most exquisite Saybrook of them all, flings herself from the window of her TriBeCa office. Everyone is shocked that a woman who had it all would end her own life. Then her cousins receive an ominous threat: one heiress down, four to go.

Was it suicide... or murder? In the aftermath of the tragedy, the remaining heiresses—Corinne, the perfectionist; Rowan, the workaholic; Aster, the hedonist; and Natasha, the enigma—wrestle with feelings of sadness, guilt, and, most of all, fear. Now they must uncover the truth about their family before they lose the only thing money can't buy: their lives.

The Heiresses is a whip-smart mystery that simmers with the wicked sense of humor and intrigue that made Sara Shepard's number one New York Times-bestselling Pretty Little Liars series a must-read, must-watch phenomenon.

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | iTunes | Kobo | Google Play | Publisher

Review

The girls were the future of Saybrook's Diamonds, and they had to act accordingly. They were to live their lives with the utmost decorum, smile for the cameras, speak several languages, hold many degrees, cultivate the art of conversation, and most important, refrain from doing anything that might bring scandal upon the family. To never, ever break the rules.
And yet they had. All of them. It had been a summer of secrets. They were heiresses, all right, but they hadn't been behaving like heiresses at all.
And it was only a matter of time before the world found out.

Opening in tragedy, and confined by tragedy, The Heiresses follows the lives of the five—well, four—Saybrook heiresses: their lush, rich world, their deeply personal problems, and fate's cruel affinity for hurdling their family into a string of mysterious, sudden deaths, otherwise known as the Saybrook Curse by the public.

Upon the unthinkable loss of one of their own—the perfect Poppy Saybrook—the remaining four cousins set out to solve the dangerous, wildly eery crime, but approach a dilemma when they realize Poppy's murder can only be solved by revealing the scandals and secrets of their past. Each Saybrook cousin has a life-threatening secret—that one personal demon they want to take to the grave—and as each figures out who is a witness, who is an alibi, and who is a backstabber, the dark secrets are slowly revealed.

I was so enchanted by this book. Dramatic irony keeps it running, and the suspense is absolutely electrifying—hair-raising—in a creepy "someone's watching you" kind of way. I couldn't stop reading it because I was too scared to put it down! In the vein of the Gossip Girl series, Sara Shepard masters the sinister, omniscient tone that, in the backdrop of high-society New York City, is as extravagant as its characters are.

The Heiresses is not your average chick-lit novel; it's not just another happy day at the Hamptons. The calamities and misfortunes of the world-famous diamond empire will stun and frighten you, as well as teach you a thing or two about the dangers of money, misconceptions, and pride. It's a story of the consequences of deceit, greed, and lies from one generation to the next, but beneath it all, it's also an examination of four courageous women who bond and discover the values of fortune, trust, and always: family.

Pros

The ending!!!! // Characters aren't deep, but are understandable and lovable // Scintillating suspense // Cinematic, dramatic—I can easily see this being made into a TV show or movie // One of those books you can't put down // Eery, startling tone is so well done

Cons

Literally everybody is screwing everybody... this book is centered on infidelity and illicit sexual relations // Not a super deep, meaningful novel, but still a hell of an entertaining one

Verdict

With the addictive, crippling voice akin to Gossip Girl, the darkly comical tone found in Desperate Housewives, and allusions to the Kennedy curse we're all so familiar with, Sara Shepard's newest novel reads like Pretty Little Liars all grown up. The Heiresses is a juicy, sinful mystery about a legendary American dynasty so blessed with fortune and beauty, yet cursed in the worst of ways. I admit at times the plot resembles that of an overdone soap opera, but that doesn't make it any less entertaining; this series is bound to become everyone's newest guilty pleasure

9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf (x)

Fallout by Sadie Jones Giveaway! (US only)

Fallout
Sadie Jones

Four young people in 1970s London race toward the future, fueled by love, betrayal, and creative ambition.

Luke Kanowski is a young playwright— intense, magnetic, and eager for life. He escapes a disastrous upbringing in the northeast and, arriving in London, meets Paul Driscoll, an aspiring producer, and the beautiful, fiery Leigh Radley, the woman Paul loves.

The three set up a radical theater company, living and working together; a romantic connection forged in candlelit rehearsal rooms during power cuts and smoky late-night parties in Chelsea's run-down flats. The gritty rebellion of pub theater is fighting for its place against a West End dominated by racy revue shows and the giants of twentieth-century drama.

Nina Jacobs is a fragile actress, bullied by her mother and in thrall to a controlling producer. When Luke meets Nina, he recognizes a soul in danger—but how much must he risk to save her?

Everything he has fought for—loyalty, friendship, art—is drawn into the heat of their collision. As Luke ricochets between honesty and deceit, the promise of the future and his own painful past, the fallout threatens to be immense.

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | iTunes | Kobo | Google Play | Publisher

About the Author

Sadie Jones was born in London, England, the daughter of a poet and an actress. Her father, Evan Jones, was born in Portland, Jamaica in 1927. He grew up on a banana farm, eventually moving to the United States, and from there to England in the 1950s. His most widely acclaimed work is "The Song of the Banana Man". Sadie's mother, Joanna Jones, was featured as an extra in various television series, including "The Avengers."

As a young woman, Sadie opted out of attending university, preferring instead to work an assortment of odd jobs (video production, temping, waiting tables) and to travel. After visiting America, the Caribbean and Mexico, Sadie settled in Paris, where she taught English and wrote her first screenplay.

Sadie wrote screenplays for fourteen years before producing The Outcast, her first novel, which was a winner of the Costa First Novel Award in Great Britain and a finalist for the Orange Prize for Fiction and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction. She is also the author of the novels Small Wars and the bestselling The Uninvited Guests. She lives in London with her husband, architect Tim Boyd, and their two children.

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Giveaway!

Books à la Mode is giving away one finished print copy of Fallout—yay!! To enter, all you have to do is tell me:

What are you up to this summer? Any vacation plans, breaks from school/work, anything in particular you're looking forward to?

I'm currently all over the place visiting friends and family, but have to go back to Berkeley soon to take summer classes. Also going to a Man Man concert in July—excited for that!!

Please make your comment MEANINGFUL. Comments solely consisting of stock responses or irrelevant fluff like "Thanks for the giveaway!" will not be considered for entry. I really want to hear from you guys! :)

Don't forget the entry eligibility terms and conditions!

Sponsored wholly by the tour publicist and publisher—a huge thank you to TLC and Harper Collins!
Giveaway ends June 6th at 11.59 PM (your time).

Open to US residents only—sorry, international readers! Check out my sidebar for a list of currently running giveaways that are open worldwide—there are plenty to choose from!
Void where prohibited.

Winners have 48 hours to claim their prize once they are chosen, or else their winnings will be forfeited.
Although I do randomly select winners, I am in no way responsible for prizes, nor for shipping and handling.

As a reminder, you do not have to follow my blog to enter, though it is always very much appreciated ❤

Good luck!

9 Heart Review: Mind of Winter by Laura Kasischke

Sorry for the late review but it's finally up!!!

Mind of Winter
Laura Kasischke

Page Count: 276
Release Date: March 25th 2014
Publisher: Harper (Harper Collins)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher via tour publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Harper Collins and TLC!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Something had followed them from Russia.

On a snowy Christmas morning, Holly Judge awakens, the fragments of a nightmare—something so important that she must write it down—floating on the edge of her consciousness.

Something had followed them from Russia!

It was thirteen years ago that she and her husband, Eric, went to Siberia to adopt the sweet, dark-haired child they had wanted so desperately. How they laughed at the nurses of Pokrovka Orphanage #2 with their garlic and superstitions, and ignored their insistent warnings. After all, their fairy princess Tatiana—Baby Tatty—was perfect.

As the snow falls, enveloping the world in its white silence, Holly senses that something is not right, and has never been right in the years since they brought their daughter home. Now Tatty is a dangerously beautiful, petulant, and often erratic teenager, and Holly feels there is something evil lurking within their house.

She and Tatiana are alone. Eric is stuck on the roads, and none of the other guests for Christmas dinner will be able to make it through the snow. With each passing hour, the blizzard rages and Tatiana's mood darkens, her behavior becoming increasingly disturbing... until, in every mother's worst nightmare, Holly finds she no longer recognizes her daughter.

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | iTunes | Kobo | Publisher

Review

They never speculated whether Tatiana might have inherited her love of horses from some Mongol ancestor or whether her lovely singing voice had been passed down from a gypsy grandmother. Neither of them speculated as to whether there might be manic depression tucked away in those genes, as there was in Holly's, or heart disease, cancer, anything. Their daughter had come to them without legacy. She was so beautiful and perfect she did not need one.

On Christmas morning, Holly Judge comes to with a startling message from a foggy dream she's just awaken from: something had followed them home from Russia.

Something had followed them home from Russia! These words, in the context of her daughter, Tatiana's adoption from Pokrovka Orphanage #2 in Siberia 13 years ago, should send chills up your spine. As Holly deals with the domestic mishaps of stressful Christmas dinner preparations, readers tap into the reflective, wistful dusty corners of Holly's mind. Her thoughts drift from her troubled childhood, to her hardest battles, to Baby Tatty's excruciating but worthwhile adoption, to Tatiana's adolescence; these flashbacks are what make up the secure, nostalgic portion of the book.

In the present, however, Holly must face something far more frightening than her personal tragedies and memories: her daughter. The frustration of motherhood is really well captured through Holly's third person narrative. She's excessively sensitive—paranoid, easily startled, a bit overbearing—but her egocentric way of thought is forgiven solely because of how relatable she is, how easy to sympathize with.

Tatiana and Holly's relationship is slightly morbid, a bit eerie to begin with. There's something lurkingly alarming about Holly being trapped inside the house in a snowstorm with a daughter that isn't acting like herself anymore, and although their interactions only occur within a span of eight hours (or so), they take up the entire novel, which should be an indication of just how scrutinizingly—just how comprehensively—Holly's life story unravels.

No matter how much you reflect, the past will always catch up with you, Holly realizes when her reminiscences culminate with a jarring, unexpected revelation that tilts her perspective, sense, and reality a several degrees. The ending of the book—which I won't give away—will make your mind reel and have you rethinking the virtues of destiny, sanity, and delusion of perfection.

Laura Kasischke is a clear poet, with smooth and imaginative style that sets a perfectly chilling and increasingly distressing mood. I noticed a lot of readers on Goodreads complaining about the repetition of certain lines and the exaggerated alarm with which Holly perceives the world, but—hello?—that's the entire POINT of her writing style! Kasischke's merit isn't quite literary, but it's sensuous, it's poetic, and it needs to be read like a movie script would: dramatically, frenetically.

I know the cover is really creepy, and while I can definitely vouch for a disturbing quality to this novel, I also have to say it isn't all blood and guts and gore; I wouldn't call this a horror novel, exactly. It's more about horror of the mind; Mind of Winter is a shadowy psychological thriller that won't only have your heart leaping up in your chest, but will also make you consider the limitations of a solitary perspective, and what it means to truly understand a story.

Pros

Completely absorbing... it was hard for me to stop reading! // Mind-blowing turn of events // Structurally and stylistically bizarre, but that much more impressive // Nothing violent or explicit, but as a trigger warning, there is definitely some emotionally disturbing content // Poetic, repetitive flow to Kasischke's voice // Vivid, detailed style // Introspective // Presents accurate remarks about the joys and dangers of what's inside of us // One of those books that will make you double-take and think hard

Cons

No chapters or clear structure to the book, which I understand is intentional, but it made it hard to find stopping points while reading (not that I wanted to stop reading) // Creeped out the living sh!t out of me (which is actually pretty cool, now that I think about it)

Love

"It isn't repression to acknowledge the horrors of this world and let them go. It's freedom."

Verdict

Tranquilly dark, hauntingly portrayed, and ultimately, completely mind-bending, Laura Kasischke's latest novel is a hair-raising glimpse at not only a repressive household's mother-daughter relationship, but also into the scariest place possible: the human mind. While not explicit or particularly horrific, Mind of Winter has some disturbing content that keeps me from recommending it to the average Jane. However, if, like me, you can stomach that kind of psychological manipulation from the author, and if you're a fan of unreliable narrators, macabre portraits of repression and denial, and characters that come with no baggage or legacy, then this is your next must-read. Buy yourself a copy now 

9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf (x)

8 Heart Review: The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick

The Good Luck of Right Now
Matthew Quick
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Page Count: 304
Release Date: February 11th 2014
Publisher: Harper (Harper Collins)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher via tour publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Harper Collins and TLC!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Call it fate. Call it synchronicity. Call it an act of God. Call it... The Good Luck of Right Now. From the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook comes an entertaining and inspiring tale that will leave you pondering the rhythms of the universe and marveling at the power of kindness and love.

For thirty-eight years, Bartholomew Neil has lived with his mother. When she gets sick and dies, he has no idea how to be on his own. His redheaded grief counselor, Wendy, says he needs to find his flock and leave the nest. But how does a man whose whole life has been grounded in his mom, Saturday mass, and the library learn how to fly?

Bartholomew thinks he’s found a clue when he discovers a “Free Tibet” letter from Richard Gere hidden in his mother’s underwear drawer. In her final days, mom called him Richard—there must be a cosmic connection. Believing that the actor is meant to help him, Bartholomew awkwardly starts his new life, writing Richard Gere a series of highly intimate letters. Jung and the Dalai Lama, philosophy and faith, alien abduction and cat telepathy, the Catholic Church and the mystery of women are all explored in his soul-baring epistles. But mostly the letters reveal one man’s heartbreakingly earnest attempt to assemble a family of his own.

A struggling priest, a “Girlbrarian,” her feline-loving, foul-mouthed brother, and the spirit of Richard Gere join the quest to help Bartholomew. In a rented Ford Focus, they travel to Canada to see the cat Parliament and find his biological father... and discover so much more.

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | Sony eStore | Kobo | iTunes | Publisher

Review

When I looked into [my mother's] eyes, she didn't seem to see me. It was like she was having a vision—seeing what I could not.
It made me wonder if Mom had used some sort of womanly witchcraft and turned me into you somehow.
That we—you and me—had become one in her mind.
Richard Gere.
Bartholomew Neil.
We.

At thirty-nine, Bartholomew Neil still isn't ready to leave his mother's nest, but when he loses her to cancer, he's left with no other choice. His once-stable, once-routine world—of just him, his mother, and God—crumbles to pieces when one of his biggest role models, Father McNamee, consequently denounces himself from the Catholic church, and in turn, becomes more than just a religious father figure to Bartholomew, by becoming a human being.

Convinced that his other beloved role model, Richard Gere, is watching over him now that God no longer is, Bartholomew begins a one-way correspondence; these letters are what make up the entire novel. This fantasy relationship he creates is the only thing that still connects him to his deceased mother, considering she was Richard Gere's biggest fan, and the sole belief that he is guiding Bartholomew as if they were old friends, leads to unexpected discoveries and profound self-inquiry.

The unique narrator is what stood out to me, first and foremost. It is not a shock that Quick would write a protagonist who isn't quite normal—one who clearly suffers from a mental disorder, but internally, is the same as any and all of us: deeply, imperfectly human. Bartholomew isn't a grand hero, no, but he glows with sincerity and is a compassionate, warm character; his brilliantly observant and self-recognizing tone will capture the hearts of readers just as that of The Silver Linings Playbook did.

Matthew Quick is skilled not only at providing perspective, but also at conveying the necessity of pretending—not out of delusion, but out of self-preservation—and the sheer magic of believing—whether through faith or through faithlessness. While the book is stylistically simple, it will make you think hard and think long; Bartholomew's introspection on religion, political correctness, and the nature of existence, will make your mind turn. There are moments where you'll disbelievingly relate, and resultantly be touched—fate—and the way the story proceeds rather messily, but falls into place, piece by piece—synchronicity—will provide immense comfort; this is a story for the soul. Whether through acts of God or through coincidence, Bartholomew's life changes gradually at the discovery of an unlikely cast of new friends, and through little achievements that propel him forward further than he could imagine; it is you, the privileged reader, who gets to go along for the ride.

Pros

Requires deep thinking // Will make you reconsider the stigma of mental health disorders // Interesting perspective of a man's "delusions" // Casual, mellow style // Moves quickly; easy to read and keep reading // Story itself is synchronous as it comes into full circle // Distinct, unforgettable characters // Emotional, heartfelt

Cons

Plot isn't terribly exciting; it's more the details and Bartholomew's day-to-day observances that make it interesting // Rushed, inconclusive ending

Love

I listened for God's voice, but all I heard were the birds.

I wondered if maybe I should tell Father McNamee about you, Richard Gere, but for some reason I didn't—and I'm not going to either.

You are my confidant, Richard Gere, and I'm not about to share my pretending with anyone, because pretending often ends when you allow nonpretenders access to the better safer worlds you create for yourself.

I'd like for us to be secret friends, Richard Gere.

I think I can learn from both you and Father McNamee, and I'd like to keep those two worlds separate for now. Like church and state... Separation of church and state. Not that you are my state, because you are not. And, evidently, Father McNamee is no longer my church either.

Your admiring fan,
Bartholomew Neil

Verdict

Pensive, honest, and appropriately quirky, The Good Luck of Right Now meditates upon the power of correspondence, the catharsis of confiding, and the definition of believing. Through writing descriptive, intimate letters to his lifelong idol—the ultimate coping mechanism—Bartholomew learns about independence, acquaintance, and ever-burning hope—a remedy for both him, and for readers all around. Fans of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime will rejoice in Matthew Quick's newest novel for its genuine, thoughtful reflections and its propensity for happy outcomes in the tumbling-together of stray paths 

8 hearts: An engaging read that will be worth your while; highly recommended (x)

9 Heart Review: What I Had Before I Had You by Sarah Cornwell

What I Had Before I Had You
Sarah Cornwell
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Page Count: 288
Release Date: January 7th 2014
Publisher: Harper (Harper Collins)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher via tour publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Harper Collins and TLC!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Written in radiant prose and with stunning psychological acuity, award-winning author Sarah Cornwell’s What I Had Before I Had You is a deeply poignant story that captures the joys and sorrows of growing up and learning to let go.

Olivia Reed was fifteen when she left her hometown of Ocean Vista on the Jersey Shore. Two decades later, divorced and unstrung, she returns with her teenage daughter, Carrie, and nine-year-old son, Daniel, recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Distracted by thoughts of the past, Olivia fails to notice when Daniel disappears from her side. Her frantic search for him sparks memories of the summer of 1987, when she exploded out of the cocoon of her mother’s fierce, smothering love and into a sudden, full-throttle adolescence, complete with dangerous new friends, first love, and a rebellion so intense that it utterly recharted the course of her life.

Olivia’s mother, Myla, was a practicing psychic whose powers waxed and waned along with her mercurial moods. Myla raised Olivia to be a guarded child, and also to believe in the ever-present infant ghosts of her twin sisters, whom Myla took care of as if they were alive—diapers, baby food, an empty nursery kept like a shrine. At fifteen, Olivia saw her sisters for the first time, not as ghostly infants but as teenagers on the beach. But when Myla denied her vision, Olivia set out to learn the truth—a journey that led to shattering discoveries about herself and her family.

Sarah Cornwell seamlessly weaves together the past and the present in this riveting debut novel, as she examines the relationships between mothers and daughters, and the powerful forces of loss, family history, and magical thinking.

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | iTunes | Publisher

Review

What if all the transcendent moments of your life, the sound-track moments, the radiant detail, the gleaming thing at the center of life that loves you, that loves beauty—God or whatever you call it—what if all this were part of your illness? Would you seek treatment? I have, and sometimes I wonder if the greatest passions are just out of my reach. And sometimes I am so grateful.

As Olivia Reed's family begins to fall helplessly apart in the wake of a dry affair and along with her recently diagnosed son's growing instability, she whisks her children away from their once-comforting ranch in Texas, doing the one thing she does best: run. She knows she's out of her mind going back to the place she left behind long ago, the place where she is certain her ghosts still reside, but in an act of desperation, she has no choice; she's hometown-bound, and the moment she steps onto the long-missed boardwalk and breathes in the salty ocean air, she knows she has made a mistake.

Losing her son, combined with the familiarity of Ocean Vista, conjures various memories—of her first love, of her best friends, and most painfully, of the one person she never fully forgave: her mother. What I Had Before I Had You exposes Olivia's life in its slow, harrowing full, alternating between her unfairly influenced, unsupervised childhood and the unsettling, untold present-day. It sweeps readers through the lonely adolescence, teenage rebellion, and liberal prominence of the 1970's and 80's, all the while describing the frenzied, unnerving search for Daniel in the present, before escalating to the fateful summer when everything changed—when Olivia first indulged in her art of abandonment.

Reading this book was an experience itself. The brief glances into Olivia's shaky childhood—the result of a mentally ill but in-denial mother and the burden of independence that came much too early—as well as the current frustrations over muting her disorder while simultaneously muting herself, are penetrating, completely eye-opening. Cornwell masterfully balances the struggles of hereditary bipolar disorder—not only a diagnosis, in Olivia's bloodline, but also an inheritance—and the struggles of being a mother—of being human—in this glittering narrative.

Olivia's past is told with a vintage filter, a dusky, dreamy undertone; deeply periodic and exquisitely lush, it involves Myla's divine convictions, sleepless nights spent alone, and the unaware suffering she felt as a child—both unmedicated and uninformed. This is the childhood that adult Olivia has tried so hard to forget, the childhood that her family now knows nothing about, and as it unravels with ruthless precision and targeted blows, it culminates into the story of what happened when she was fifteen—the summer of extreme emotions and ultimate betrayal.

I was even further impressed by how complex the storytelling is; it isn't simply a factual retelling, it isn't just a secret revealed. Olivia's past is narrated with the haze of an unreliable brain, a time-worn rememberer; readers are only given the version of events that have become Olivia's own, tempered by her imagination and improved by the million small revisions of memory. We will never know whether the emotions presented, as intense as they are, have been dulled by time, weathered by maturity, and this is the entire essence of the novel—this is Olivia's pain, which, through Cornwell's rare gift for detailing and piercing hearts, readers feel, themselves.

Pros

Emotionally searing // Evocative; beachy, warm setting // Nostalgic; memories of childhood revealed with a tragic veil of time // Writing is powerful and poetic // Biting, wounding, affecting // Insightful; psychologically and stunningly precise // Phenomenal incorporation of the past into the present // Historically and culturally rich, vivid

Cons

Slow start // Disorienting at times

Love

Pam never came after me. I don't blame her. I didn't look for her, either. I hear that she's a math teacher in West Orange. There are those people in your life who matter instantly, on another plane, and you have to marry them or kill them or run the hell away, you can't do it halfway. I hope her house is full of paintings. I hope somebody loves her.

We walk down the boardwalk, close to the storefronts, scanning the crowds for Daniel, his lime-green swim trunks, his gray T-shirt, his thick brown curls. Of course I would lose him here; this is where I lose people. My past is leaching into my present, and even in the midst of this panic, I feel a sensation of walking a few steps behind myself. 

Verdict

Heartbreaking, silver-lined, and deeply meaningful, What I Had Before I Had You meditates on one mother's frantic search for her son, as well as on the even more hazardous search for herself. Sarah Cornwell elegantly constructs the thin membrane that separates childhood from parenthood in this luminous debut; as if slipping in and out of consciousness, the storylines alternate—unwinding slowly, lazily at first, and then gaining torque, and consequently, destructive power—a depiction of the debilitating effects of a mental illness such as bipolar disorder. This novel blends together the tenderly told story of a failed first love, the bittersweet flavor of resurrecting family ghosts and family history, and the delicate, learned craft of holding on and letting go—indeed, an intoxicating melange 

9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf (x)

9 Heart Review: Bordeaux Housewives by Daisy Waugh

Bordeaux Housewives
Daisy Waugh

Page Count: 420
Release Date: 1 August 2006
Publisher: Harper (Harper Collins UK)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by TripFiction in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Tina!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Who hasn't dreamed of running away from it all?

The Haunt family have gone and done it. On an impulse, Maude, her husband Horatio and their two small children have left their tiny London terrace for the sunflower fields and the vie rustique of Southern France.

Up the road, the scruffy Hotel Marronnier is about to change hands again. Daffy Fielding has fallen in love with the place and has dragged her husband to France to persuade him to buy it. Which he does—before heading straight back home to his mistress. Can timid Daffy make a life for herself alone?

Watching over all the new arrivals is the glamorous, predatory, eternally bored Lady Emma Rankin. From her exquisite château nearby, she pulls strings to bring the new wives together. But is it Horatio, rather than Maude, who she really wants to sip Sancerre with? Or is her eye on the gorgeous local builder, the only one of them all who is party to the Haunt family's explosive secret?

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Review

Voiced in a playful, darkly comical tone, Bordeaux Housewives lives up to the words in its title in that it's airy and exquisite—Bordeaux—and at the same time, fierce and dangerously thrilling—housewives. While I will be the first to acknowledge there isn't anything highly substantial or literarily tasteful about this book, it's a hell of a fun, flirty read, and it's one that should be accompanied by a glass of champagne and a sunny day—if only for pure entertainment.

The secrets and dreams and fears of Maude, Daffy, and Emma, our delightful housewives—and I say delightful in the broadest sense because once you see the ruthlessness, paranoia, and human inadequacy in them yourself, you may start thinking differently—are not only hysterical to keep up with, but also inanely human, which is why I loved the characters so much. Waugh introduces a unique, vivid cast of charming characters who are so easy to relate to and even easier to fall in love with. They're rather two-dimensional, tending to have the shallowest of weaknesses, and their rightful happily ever afters are a little saccharine, yes, but I adored them so much, I feel they deserve their happy (or not so happy) endings. They make poor decisions solely in the name of creating drama and can be annoyingly flimsy, but they are, if anything, memorable. They weren't written to give lessons or teach morals, so I don't hold anything against them; I think the characterization is, while only developed on the surface, one of the strongest aspects of the novel.

The Haunts run an undercover business beneath their sickeningly perfect cloak of domesticity—down to the sun-kissed children and house in the south of France—and get into all sorts of senseless trouble. Maude is starkly plain, and yet she's one of my favorite characters because of the reckless way her mind works. Horatio wins the "most clueless husband" award for sure, but he's equally funny and just delightful.

Daffy's life is a little bleaker. Stranded Bordeaux alone due to her pig of a husband's demands, she's the passive, obtuse character I expected to hate, but ended up cheering for, by the end of the book. She's ridiculously helpless and even a little pathetic, but she's so frail, so comically flawed, that even she hits a nerve.

And then there's Emma. Shameless thing, but a delight of a character to read about. She's unscrupulous and immensely dislikable, but that's her charm; she's toxic, but she's delicious. I loved her even though I wasn't supposed to!

The setting, I also am enchanted by. Reminiscent of the French countryside, from the fresh vegetables, the yummy men, the warm atmosphere, Bordeaux sounds homey, endearing, and even a little magical, which provides a marvelous escape. For those of you who've always wanted to run off to France: live vicariously through Bordeaux Housewives!

Pros

Hilarious // Charming // Makes me want to live in Bordeaux! // Each and every character captivated me in their own way // Pace is slow but the pages turn quickly! I finished this one before I knew it // The perfect breezy read

Cons

Slow start // Characters aren't could-be-your-best-friend realistic // Rather unexciting and absent plot

Love

It was the single piece of advice [her husband] gave to her: watch out, Daphne, [the French] all hate you. Because we won the Battle of Britain, or something, he said (she'd watched his raspberry lips moving). The Battle of something-something and something else. Lots of battles. We'd also won the Olympic bid, the war in Iraq, and there was something about a C.A.P. or S.C.A.R.F.E. or a pair of S.U.N.G.L.A.S.S.E.S. (her joke).

Verdict

While the story of Daisy Waugh's British chick-lit novel itself is nothing groundbreaking—it's mildly amusing, at most—the twisted situations three seemingly discordant families get themselves into—as well as the twisted way in which they are all connected—are brilliant. The plot thickens as words said and unsaid meddle with their lives, and the ensuing chaos is an absolute hoot. With charming characters, tongue-in-cheek humor, and a carefree, casual style akin to that of Sophie Kinsella, Bordeaux Housewives relays the juicily constructive—and of course, mistakingly destructive—power of gossip, as well as the appreciation for free will, justice, and of course, true love 

9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf (x)