Review
DNF @ 27%
I'm going to preface this review by acknowledging how painful it is to write. Maya Banks's KGI series is one of my favorite romantic suspense series ever, so I was over the moon when given the opportunity to give her new trilogy, The Enforcers, a shot.
Unfortunately, I have almost nothing good to say about Mastered, the first installment. I can't bash it completely or discredit her as an author because I know what she's capable of, but Mastered is a cheap, clichéd Fifty Shades knockoff, featuring even more despicable characters and written in as equally ridiculous writing style.
Mastered begins with Evangeline (literally, "angel") stuck in a wonderfully stupid scenario: her best friends/roommates collectively dolling her up for a night at Impulse, the most exclusive and expensive club in all of New York; of course, this is accompanied by some of the worst monologues of vain, gratuitous compliment barf I've ever read:
"You look hot. And I don't say that as your best friend trying to make you feel better about yourself. I say that as another female who is aware that a much hotter female is in her territory and I'd like to scratch her eyes out because I know I don't have a chance in hell of looking as good as she does."
"You don't get it, Vangie. And hell, I think that's half the turn-on for guys. You have no clue how beautiful you are. You're all big eyes, gorgeous hair, a figure to die for and you're good and sweet to your soul. If you had any hint of interest, you'd have men tripping over themselves to get next to you. They'd treat you like the queen you deserve to be treated as, but you honestly have no idea and that just makes them want you even more."
And of course, Evangeline bats these "you're sooooo hot" statements away—the innocent, doe-eyed, clueless saint she is:
[She] shook her head, utterly baffled. "You guys are crazy. I'm a twenty-three-year-old recently ex-virgin who's as gauche as they. I'm barely off the farm and have a southern drawl that makes New Yorkers roll their eyes and want to pat me on the head and say, 'Well, bless your heart.'"
Because we couldn't just have a flawless bombshell main character; we needed a completely un-self-realized idiot bombshell main character.
This huge night at Impulse is solely for the purpose of pissing off her abusive ex-boyfriend, Eddie, whom they know will be at the club that night, to "show him what he missed out on." As if that isn't immature enough, her friends are sending her alone, via taxi, because they only have one VIP pass among the five of them. Already, this is sounding like a bad teen rom-com, because there has to be a punchline to it. But there isn't. A girl alone in a dark sex club to confront her maniacal jackass ex? At least her friends are looking out for her safety. (The sex club part is a spoiler technically, but it won't spoil anything for you because it really is irrelevant).
The owner of Impulse, of course, is the predatory, unstable, neurotic Drake Donovan, who isn't only strong, tall, and handsome, but also rich, powerful, mean, and dominant in every which way, including in the bedroom. Oooh. Drake notices Evangeline standing out in Impulse like a sore thumb (hello? She's completely insecure and alone!) and it's love at first sight. He knows she's different, worth fighting for, etc. Just by looking at her from afar.
My immediate problem with Drake was not his all-encompassing dominant personality, but his utter lack of reason or manners. Yes, he's obviously a Dom who gets whatever he wants because he knows he can, but at the expense of treating others disrespectfully and being a temperamental dickhead. Drake treats any woman who isn't Evangeline like garbage, with very little forethought that goes into his infuriating thoughts and actions. Not sexy, not cute:
"Oh, I know damn well what I'm passing on," he drawled. "And I couldn't be any less interested in a skank who throws herself at me with promises to please me when the very sight of you displeases me very much."
Normally I would have powered on, but when Drake pretty much sexually assaults Evangeline upon their first meeting—yes, first—and it's supposed to be a sexy scene, but is so poorly written that it wouldn't have been sexy anyway, I knew at that moment that I couldn't give this book more than 1 star. It was just too outrageous (unrealistic, weird, strangely and coarsely executed) for me to continue.
I stopped reading completely when Drake, upon their second meeting, offers Evangeline a magical, optimistic solution to her current woes, including a new place to live (for free), complete responsibility over her financial worries, as well as her family's, and her roommates' (since they will be short one person's portion of rent if Evangeline moves in with him, after all), AND spoil her materialistically AND give her the best sex of her life. ...What? Literally, he spits out one paragraph saying all this and I knew I was done.
I wish I could tell you that it gets better, or the characters get some sense knocked into them, or the sex scenes improve, but alas, 100 or so pages in, I was faced with the same frustrating, static story, so I gave up. I don't know how the book ends, other than that there's a cliffhanger ending since the sequel, Dominated, is a direct continuation of Mastered—which I find distressing—so I can't comment on the broader story elements, such as the climax or ending. I have very little motivation to find out however, and when I finally put this book down, I was overcome with a giant wave of relief.
Pros
I thought I was a Maya Banks fan before this—it's really making me rethink my position though // Intriguing (albeit unoriginal) plot that had potential
Cons
Everything else. Every single thing.
A Mother Like Mine (Hartley-by-the-Sea #3)
