2 Heart Review: Mastered by Maya Banks

Mastered (The Enforcers #1)
Maya Banks

Page Count: 358
Release Date: December 29th, 2015
Publisher: Berkley (Penguin Random House)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Sullivan and Partners!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Breathless Trilogy comes the first novel in the Enforcers series—a bold new direction in erotic romance that explores the games men and women play, and the price they’re willing to pay for pleasure. 

What he wants, he takes with no remorse or guilt.

She stood out in his club like a gem, unspoiled and untouched. A lamb among wolves, she clearly didn’t belong. Drawn to her innocence he watched as she was surrounded by men who saw what he did—but no one but him could touch her. He summoned her to his private quarters. He sensed her fear. He also recognized the desire in her eyes. And he knew she wouldn’t leave before he possessed her. She had no need to know his secrets. Not until he had her under his complete and utter control.

What he wants, she isn’t sure she can give him.

The moment he told her want he wanted, she couldn’t resist. Instinct told her to run, but her heart said stay and walk the fine line between pleasure and pain. Though she wasn’t sure she could ever completely surrender, the primal part of her wanted to try, even knowing this man could break her in ways she never imagined. Because once he possessed her, he owned her and it would be too late to turn back. She can only pray that he doesn’t destroy her in the end.

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Review

DNF @ 27%

I'm going to preface this review by acknowledging how painful it is to write. Maya Banks's KGI series is one of my favorite romantic suspense series ever, so I was over the moon when given the opportunity to give her new trilogy, The Enforcers, a shot.

Unfortunately, I have almost nothing good to say about Mastered, the first installment. I can't bash it completely or discredit her as an author because I know what she's capable of, but Mastered is a cheap, clichéd Fifty Shades knockoff, featuring even more despicable characters and written in as equally ridiculous writing style.

Mastered begins with Evangeline (literally, "angel") stuck in a wonderfully stupid scenario: her best friends/roommates collectively dolling her up for a night at Impulse, the most exclusive and expensive club in all of New York; of course, this is accompanied by some of the worst monologues of vain, gratuitous compliment barf I've ever read:

"You look hot. And I don't say that as your best friend trying to make you feel better about yourself. I say that as another female who is aware that a much hotter female is in her territory and I'd like to scratch her eyes out because I know I don't have a chance in hell of looking as good as she does."

"You don't get it, Vangie. And hell, I think that's half the turn-on for guys. You have no clue how beautiful you are. You're all big eyes, gorgeous hair, a figure to die for and you're good and sweet to your soul. If you had any hint of interest, you'd have men tripping over themselves to get next to you. They'd treat you like the queen you deserve to be treated as, but you honestly have no idea and that just makes them want you even more."

And of course, Evangeline bats these "you're sooooo hot" statements away—the innocent, doe-eyed, clueless saint she is:

[She] shook her head, utterly baffled. "You guys are crazy. I'm a twenty-three-year-old recently ex-virgin who's as gauche as they. I'm barely off the farm and have a southern drawl that makes New Yorkers roll their eyes and want to pat me on the head and say, 'Well, bless your heart.'"

Because we couldn't just have a flawless bombshell main character; we needed a completely un-self-realized idiot bombshell main character.

This huge night at Impulse is solely for the purpose of pissing off her abusive ex-boyfriend, Eddie, whom they know will be at the club that night, to "show him what he missed out on." As if that isn't immature enough, her friends are sending her alone, via taxi, because they only have one VIP pass among the five of them. Already, this is sounding like a bad teen rom-com, because there has to be a punchline to it. But there isn't. A girl alone in a dark sex club to confront her maniacal jackass ex? At least her friends are looking out for her safety. (The sex club part is a spoiler technically, but it won't spoil anything for you because it really is irrelevant).

The owner of Impulse, of course, is the predatory, unstable, neurotic Drake Donovan, who isn't only strong, tall, and handsome, but also rich, powerful, mean, and dominant in every which way, including in the bedroom. Oooh. Drake notices Evangeline standing out in Impulse like a sore thumb (hello? She's completely insecure and alone!) and it's love at first sight. He knows she's different, worth fighting for, etc. Just by looking at her from afar.

My immediate problem with Drake was not his all-encompassing dominant personality, but his utter lack of reason or manners. Yes, he's obviously a Dom who gets whatever he wants because he knows he can, but at the expense of treating others disrespectfully and being a temperamental dickhead. Drake treats any woman who isn't Evangeline like garbage, with very little forethought that goes into his infuriating thoughts and actions. Not sexy, not cute:

"Oh, I know damn well what I'm passing on," he drawled. "And I couldn't be any less interested in a skank who throws herself at me with promises to please me when the very sight of you displeases me very much."

Normally I would have powered on, but when Drake pretty much sexually assaults Evangeline upon their first meeting—yes, first—and it's supposed to be a sexy scene, but is so poorly written that it wouldn't have been sexy anyway, I knew at that moment that I couldn't give this book more than 1 star. It was just too outrageous (unrealistic, weird, strangely and coarsely executed) for me to continue.

I stopped reading completely when Drake, upon their second meeting, offers Evangeline a magical, optimistic solution to her current woes, including a new place to live (for free), complete responsibility over her financial worries, as well as her family's, and her roommates' (since they will be short one person's portion of rent if Evangeline moves in with him, after all), AND spoil her materialistically AND give her the best sex of her life. ...What? Literally, he spits out one paragraph saying all this and I knew I was done.

I wish I could tell you that it gets better, or the characters get some sense knocked into them, or the sex scenes improve, but alas, 100 or so pages in, I was faced with the same frustrating, static story, so I gave up. I don't know how the book ends, other than that there's a cliffhanger ending since the sequel, Dominated, is a direct continuation of Mastered—which I find distressing—so I can't comment on the broader story elements, such as the climax or ending. I have very little motivation to find out however, and when I finally put this book down, I was overcome with a giant wave of relief.

Pros

I thought I was a Maya Banks fan before this—it's really making me rethink my position though // Intriguing (albeit unoriginal) plot that had potential

Cons

Everything else. Every single thing.

Love

Here's a collection of my favorite quotes due to their WTF-ness. I stopped at three because Drake's unreasonably hilarious behavior just goes on and on and on; consider this section a preview. It's NSFW, but mostly because you'll be laughing very hard which will make your boss and coworkers very suspicious. Unfortunately, it's also actually NSFW (warning: poorly executed smut ahead) so you don't want to be caught reading this in public:

"He sat her ass on the edge of his desk and with an impatient gesture, he swept the surface of his work area clean, knocking the contents to the floor. Shit scattered in all directions and her eyes widened, her pupils dilated so that only a thin ring of blue circled the black orbs as she stared warily at him.

Not only does this start off with a stock scene from any B-grade office porno, but that dilation thing just freaks me out. My pupils looked like that the one time I tried LSD, and it wasn't as angelic as the author makes it out to be.

It had taken every ounce of his restraint not to tear his pants down and plunge so deeply into her that she would feel him to her soul.

She would feel him TO HER SOUL. Because his peter's that big. Ha ha. Get it??

He was becoming more pissed by the minute, and he was seething as he stared at her. The idea of those bastards putting their hands on what he'd already claimed, fondling her, disrespecting her, had his teeth on edge, and his temper, already bad enough, was becoming overwhelmingly foul.

To provide some context, this is all in response to finding out that Evangeline works a night job as a bartender. A FREAKIN' BARTENDER. And this is literally the second time they've met, and he's already marked her as "what he'd already claimed." This dude has no chill.

Verdict

A nasty "hero," a moronic heroine, unintentionally comical dialogue, and a ludicrous storyline all litter this first installment of The Enforcers. Full of clichéd scenes, overused phrases, and a completely unoriginal and unappealing plot, Mastered is not Maya Banks's best work. Not only did I find the story intolerable, but also the writing unrefined and unseasoned. I'm sure there are authors out there who could have made even this smutty, absurd plot work, but Banks is not one of them. I cannot recommend Mastered to any audience—even romance and BDSM lovers won't find much to enjoyment in this—and I'm glad I didn't bother finishing it; reading this was ever only bad for my blood pressure 

2 hearts: A lost cause for me, although it may not be for others; did not finish and did not enjoy (x)

5 Heart Review: Breathe by Lauren Jameson

Breathe (In Vino Veritas #2)
Lauren Jameson

Page Count: 304
Release Date: December 3rd, 2013
Publisher: NAL Trade (Penguin Group)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by publisher in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Signet Eclipse!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Two people learn what it really means to give up control in the sizzling new novel from the author of Blush and Surrender to Temptation...

When business mogul Elijah Masterson travels to the Mexican coast for his chain of luxury resorts, he purchases an emerald green glass sculpture for one of the properties. He is soon fascinated by the fiery temptress who created it. The attraction between them is instant and explosive, but Elijah resists, unsure that a woman as strong-willed as Samantha would ever yield in the way he needs her to.

Headstrong glass artist Samantha Collins hides a secret desire to submit to the right man. Samantha sees everything she wants in Elijah, but apart from one steamy night, he seems determined to keep his distance. She has always held back, but refusing to let go now that she’s found the dominant man she’s always wanted, Samantha makes Elijah an offer he can’t refuse: a month of absolute submission.

But after a month of incredible passion, will either of them be able to walk away?

Buy the book from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | Sony eStore | Kobo

Review

But being restrained—that had been a major turn-on. More than that, the manner in which Elijah had taken her in his arms after she'd had her momentary panic attack had filled something deep inside her. The way he'd wrapped her in a blanket, held her close, fed her—it had been strange and some kind of wonderful to be taken care of.

That was what she wanted, more than anything she'd seen in the BDSM club. She wanted a strong man, a man who would take care of her without questioning her endlessly about it. A man who wasn't put off by the fact that she could be argumentative and stubborn.

Elijah was that man. She was absolutely sure of it.

Considering how much I adored the first book in the In Vino Veritas series, Blush, which I reviewed back in May, I thought I would love Breathe, but I was actually very disappointed. With backdrops of breezy José del Cabo and colorful Las Vegas, Breathe is business tycoon Elijah Masterson's story—the story of how he finds the girl who steals his heart, and how he responds to her touch—even though she isn't fully available for his taking.

Samantha, our heroine, is running away from a deep, terrible past that still haunts her in the flesh today. I don't know what it is in recent trends that has glamorized childhood trauma, but as you can imagine, this "escaping the past" trope was predictable, superficial, and left a bad taste in my mouth—not because it was too horrible for words, but because it was so recklessly developed. Samantha has always had to be the responsible one, the one who had to pick up the scattered pieces of her broken family, but when she meets Elijah, a relationship as fiery as her personality ignites, and for once, she gets the chance to give up control.

There are two problems here that I can name already: first, the degree of "heat" of the relationship, and second, Samantha's "sassy" attitude—both the result of poor characterization. Whatever chemistry there is supposed to be between Elijah and Samantha is unconvincing; I felt nothing for them, and didn't care enough to root for their romance either. While the more explicit sex scenes are taboo and decently written, the character interaction, the entire presumption of their so-called relationship, is stinted and utterly painful (and not in the good way!).

Samantha is portrayed as your typical contrary, smart-mouthed redhead who's so uptight that she can't ever be fully submissive. The heart of the book's tragedy lies here: while Samantha wants to surrender to Elijah's kinky ways, she is too much of a "strong, independent woman who don't need no man" to do so; and while Elijah is intrigued by this adorable, passionate character, he is a true Dom and cannot be with a sort-of, kind-of sub. She's the kind of girl that could make him get way over his head—fall in love too quickly and get hurt—again. The dilemma of the impossible power play, as well as the secret he wants to coax out of her without damaging her, is really well elaborated, but that's about all I can praise.

The characters themselves are hard to sympathize with; entirely two-dimensional and routine. Samantha huffs her breath out and puts her fists on her hips too much, while Elijah does creepy, unrealistic things like call her "kitten" and lust after his best friend's fiancée. Jameson tried too hard to make each character ideal—Samantha the brazen, bold heroine, and Elijah the smooth, rich Dom—but she ended up making them unrealistic and rather ridiculous in the process.

I thought I'd at least enjoy the BDSM aspect, but nope, didn't happen. Samantha's immersion into the world of kink is uncannily Fifty Shades-esque; we've got a pathetically naïve innocent girl with only not-so-witty inner monologues to her name, and we've got a billionaire-slash-handsome-devil who's an expert on whips and chains and gags. On top of this, we have an author trying way too hard to be inventive, to be sexy; it was entirely unsexy. A few nights together and a trip to Elijah's infamous sex club later, and they're already developing separation anxiety. They call it incredible passion. They call it love.

Sorry, but this one just wasn't for me.

Pros

Brief cameos of characters from Blush // Intense love scenes // D/s relationship well explored // Quickly paced; I kept reading, didn't I?

Cons

Physical BDSM is poorly incorporated // Laughable characters // Laughable romance/love/whatever // Stereotypical "rich sex god falls in love with unextraordinary girl" plot // Emotionally artless; Jameson tries too hard to be sentimental, but I got nothing out of it

Verdict

Breathe's pages turned easily and were paced well, but the story itself is insipid, unoriginal, and at times, just too over-the-top. A clear Fifty Shades of Grey wannabe—the two books having nearly identical plots and equally ridiculous characters—the second installment of the In Vino Veritas series disappointed me sorely. Frustratingly, I really wanted to enjoy this novel about giving up and handing over control, but I must have gotten my hopes up too high; even if you're a fan of Blush or Jameson's alter ego, Lauren Hawkeye's other works, I can't recommend this one 

5 hearts: Doesn't particularly light any of my fires; I feel indifferent about this book (x)

9 Heart Review: Blush by Lauren Jameson

Blush (In Vino Veritas #1)
Lauren Jameson

Page Count: 304
Release Date: 7 May 2013
Publisher: New American Library (Penguin)
Source: Won in a giveaway
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

From the author of Surrender to Temptation comes a provocative story of overwhelming passion set free with one exquisite touch...

Madeline Stone is determined to heal from her tragic past, one difficult step at a time... and she doesn’t need any distractions. Then she meets a mysterious and captivating stranger—and over a glass of outrageously expensive wine, her world turns upside down. Try as she might to banish the wealthy business mogul from her thoughts, Madeline can’t fight Alex’s staggering appeal or his enticing offer of intimate discovery.

Alex doesn’t date—at least, not in the traditional sense. Still, he wants Madeline... and his sexual intensity provides her with a much-needed escape. They embark on a tumultuous erotic affair, one that takes them to the pinnacle of obsession and desire. But underneath each explosive encounter lie dangerous secrets waiting to consume them both...

Buy the book at: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million

Review

A night of risks—a night when Maddy Stone finally decides to push herself and try something new—presents her with a hot, sultry encounter with a man who can read her better than she can even read herself. Alex Fraser picks up on her deeper notes right away, and he's not letting them go anytime soon. Whether it be with wine, with words, or with one delicate touch, he'll seduce her... that is, if he doesn't fall in love with her first.

I absolutely devoured this book! Jameson's writing is smooth, sleek, and sexy, and her witty dialogue and mesmerizing character interaction are right on par.

Alex, a Vegas business tycoon, is not a nice man. He's your typical rich, dominant, Acqua de Gio-wearing tall, dark, and deadly (yes, I just made that a noun); in other words, totally swoon-worthy—I need more of him now!!! He has a cool, controlled exterior—except in the presence of Maddy, with whom he doesn't feel coldness, nor mere attraction, but rather, a slow, wicked burn. The development of their relationship is exactly that: a slow, wicked burn that ignites at its hottest points and sizzles when it's cool.

Alex knows right away Maddy will not be able to handle his intensity, unless, that is, he pushes her all that far. However, she's much too innocent to do the things he wants to do with her, cravings aside. And his life is too much of a mess for a woman clearly dealing with her own issues. Yet, something inevitable draws him to her, and that's what's so heartbreaking—so devastatingly perfect—about the two of them together.

Maddy, after losing everything, wants to start afresh in the quaint town near Las Vegas. She's irrationally afraid of trying anything new and as it is, Alex—his world, his background, his body, and of course, his mindgames—is as new as it gets. As troubled as she is, she discovers she needs Alex because he knows what she needs even when she doesn't. Nights of unbridled passion, insecurity, and heat expose both of their vulnerabilities to each other, and to the most painful realization of all: heartache.

The couple dynamic here is interesting. It's not just a love-at-first-sight kind of romance story. Both characters are deeply flawed and deeply scarred, with more emotional baggage than each can handle, which means their relationship is weird, complicated, and utterly messy. Maddy's been rendered passive ever since her family tragedy, so her lingering guilt and humiliation dictate her into thinking she just might deserve the pain of Alex's singular tastes; Alex, on the other hand, wants to punish her, but only for pleasure—because that much, he knows, she deserves.

Alex may be her cure, but Maddy just might be his demise. The force of this kinky duo will have you panting and your insides searing. The climax is a bit disappointing—Alex's deep dark secret is, without giving too much away, not that deep and dark. And for a large portion of the book, I felt like Maddy was being rather a baby, but I reconciled with her behavior upon realizing how weak, how fragile, of a character she is. It's obvious within the first few pages of Blush that Alex will become the remedy for her frailty, and that's where the journey of their irrevocable love begins.

Pros

Alex is a fabu-fuckin'-lous alpha male // BDSM scenes hit the spot! // Relatable protagonist // Realistic chemistry // Pitch-perfect dialogue // Emotionally solid // Love that the next book in the series will have recurring characters

Cons

Not exactly a fresh plot (Bared to You reference right on the cover...) // Stilted ending // Deep, dark secrets are not actually that deep and dark; would have liked to see edgier

Love

[Susannah] had insisted on helping Maddy decide what to wear on the date that Maddy didn't even yet have.

From the size of the pile of "no" clothing in Maddy's lap, she was pretty sure that she'd be attending the so-called date naked.

Verdict

Sultry and alluring, Lauren Jameson's first full-length novel Blush is a sinful thrill of a read, and it'll definitely become your next guiltiest pleasure. The inescapability of one's identity is highlighted upon in Maddy's attempted flee from her past, and her acquaintance with the smokin' hot Alex Fraser will make her—and readers—understand that. As she discovers that although he may seem indestructible, in the end, Alex too, is only human, readers get a private glimpse of the composed dominant's perspective—the insides of an outwardly tranquil and authoritative character. A better-written and actually classy variation of the Fifty Shades of Grey madness, this first book in the In Vino Veritas series is heavy on secrets and heavy on sex; it expertly explores the necessary trust and determination in the sexuality of a BDSM relationship, on top of its erotic tendrils 

9 hearts: Loved it! This book has a spot on my favorites shelf (x)

8 Heart Review: Fifty Shades Darker by EL James

Fifty Shades Darker
EL James

Page Count: 532
Release Date: 17 April 2012 (new edition)
Publisher: Vintage Books (Random House)
Source: Complimentary copy provided in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Daunted by the singular sexual tastes and dark secrets of the beautiful, tormented young entrepreneur Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele has broken off their relationship to start a new career with a Seattle publishing house.

But desire for Christian still dominates her every waking thought, and when he proposes a new arrangement, Anastasia cannot resist. They rekindle their searing sensual affair, and Anastasia learns more about the harrowing past of her damaged, driven, and demanding Fifty Shades.

While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront her anger and envy of the women who came before her and make the most important decision of her life.

Erotic, sparkling, and suspenseful, Fifty Shades Darker is the irresistibly addictive second part of the Fifty Shades trilogy.

Review

[NOTE]: Read my review of Fifty Shades of Grey, the book that started it all, by clicking here!

I wasn't a fan of the first book, but am so glad I gave the second a chance. In Fifty Shades Darker, Christian (our fantasy man, the sex god, the physically flawless human being with athletic ability, musical prowess, an amazing family, a scattering of houses all across the nation, some helicopters and private jets—and of course, pilot licenses for both vehicles—AND a gajillion dollars) agrees to vanilla, agrees to sacrificing himself for Anastasia as much as it pains him, because that is the depth of his love for her. The emotions in this installment of the Fifty Shades series are mind-blowing and the implications of what Christian is giving up just to keep Ana around, devastating. I found this book so much more enjoyable than the first, and actually—dare I say it.... liked it.

Mr. Grey's dangerous past and lingering associations haunt his current relationship with Ana, indicating their love may be geting more dangerous—darker—than ever. As he becomes more and more dependent on her in a way he's never felt with anyone else, he realizes he must exorcise the demons of his past in order to achieve a fulfilling, worthy future with the lovely (okay, not so lovely) Miss Steele... even if it damn near kills him.

This book is richer in both content and in emotional resonance. It consumed me, and once I really got into it, I couldn't put it down! Things actually happen, things other than the same love scene over and over again. Well, maybe that's a bit of a stretch. The BDSM is once again a huge letdown, but you heard me complain enough about that in my first review, so I'll restrain myself on that matter. The sex scenes are still repetitive—in fact, they're identical, just with different locations (table, bed, helicopter) and different occasions (birthday, Monday, Tuesday...). So, sadly no improvement whatsoever there.

But where I did see improvement, was in the two main characters and the relationship between them. There's actually growth among them; the previously boring, innocent Ana finds a way to surprise even herself, while—quote, unquote—"mercurial"Christian learns to trust, as much as it hurts him. The exquisite unraveling of Christian's agonizing childhood and the psychoanalysis on how it's made him they way he is today... this... THIS will break your heart. Ana only wants to kiss those scars that are so deeply embedded into Christian's flesh but even she may not have that power. The way he gives himself to her so wholly because of how much he loves her, is what made me cave.

Now, as much as I was engrossed in the stirring conflict of emotions, this book is far, far from perfect. I fell a little in love with Christian through his weak, needy portrayal, but I can't say this very confidently, because there are bigger, better things that made me want to puke on him, instead. Even Anastasia recognizes he has more money than he has sense; throughout the entire book, he is shit-terrifying bipolar, a control freak, and demonstrates multiple personalities—in other words, pretty fuckin' scary. He suffocates Ana in affection and "compassion" to compensate for his behavior, but what the fuck? You can't swear at a girl, and then buy her a car and stick your tongue in her love hole (my new PG word for snatch) to make it up to her! It doesn't work that way, Mr. Grey, you ass! But alas, apparently it does work that way—a horrendous result of both James's unbelievable portrayal of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and of Ana's idiocy.

Brace yourself for a fangirly (or anti-fangirly) rant: ANA FUCKIN' STEELE, the incriminating reason why Anaïs Nin is tossing around in her grave at night! I'll give you this: I do respect her a bit more after reading Fifty Shades Darker. Not when she returns to Christian obviously, but because she has her moments where she just plain kicks ass: hater ass, Christian ass, filthy perverted boss ass—all sorts of good ass! She actually stands up for herself (for once!); I was proud of her for her assertiveness. But aside from her glittering moments, I wanted to spank the shit out of her. I don't know if James has deliberately created the most dislikable female character on the planet, but she's done a great job at it. Also, I noticed Ana orgasms pretty much at the slightest breeze. Christian looks at her love hole and she orgasms. Christian says her name and she orgasms. Christian touches her shoulder and she orgasms. Ana is a dumbass and I don't know what Christian sees in her; it pained ME to have to read this whole book from her perspective.

Oh, and they've known each other for a good five weeks and they're saying vows? What the actual fuck, this was probably my biggest problem with their relationship. No one can commit or develop proper feelings that quickly, especially if they're doe-eyed and virginal like Anastasia, or fifty shades of fucked up like Christian. Sigh... James fails in the realistic factor again. (But then again, Christian buys Ana multiple designer cars, a bunch of houses, ancient wine, antiques, is solving world hunger, and is a doting boyfriend. We never guaranteed this book would be realistic).

I also find it very strange they call each other by their last names: Mr. Grey this, Miss Steele that—are they from the 19th century? Well, Ana could be, given her lack of any sort of worldly experience (i.e. relationships, sexuality, email).

Okay, my rant's over, I promise. So. Aside from the outraged ramble you've read above, this book has many redeeming qualities that made me enjoy it. As flawed as the main relationship is, you can tell Christian really does love Ana; it's just that he keeps pulling her into unbearable situations, forcing her to face things she shouldn't have to. Ana is smart enough (just barely) to realize this, but not strong enough to resist it—which keeps her from leaving the toxic, all-consuming relationship. They are both enshrouded by doubt that they are wrong for each other and that they don't deserve each other... and they're absolutely right, except that they have one thing in common: unbridled love. And this is what will keep them together.

Fifty Shades Darker ends breathlessly and on a lingering note. I SO want to read Book 3. Let's keep our fingers crossed it doesn't disappoint!

[UPDATE]: Read my review of the next book in the series, Fifty Shades Freed, by clicking here.

Pros

Much much MUCH better than the first one // Deep emotions // Character development (it took 1000+ pages, but James still did it!) // Darker, more alluring, and more thrilling // There's actually a plot // Suspenseful because of life-or-death situation both Ana and Christian are thrown in // Romance is actually palatable

Cons

Placid sex scenes // Awkward big words thrown in elementary writing // Stiff dialogue // Exasperating narrator... Ana is a moron in every which way // Sorry, but Christian Grey is still a weird fuck // Unrealistic. Duh.

Love

"What I feel for you frightens me."

Now that we've gotten that over with, here are the real winners:

Some observations of Christian Grey:

He's very alluring.

Oh, he's so mercurial.

Holy fucking cow.

... vagina. 

These are the magical Mr. Grey's carnal effects on Anastasia:

He makes me feel so wanton.

He just makes me feel so sexy.

It's so arousing. 

I'm like an overflowing tank of gasoline.

Upon penetration:

"Arrgh!"

"Aagh!"

.....that doesn't sound correct to me. Mr. Grey, are you sure you're doing it right?

Upon making him orgasm:

I feel like Aphrodite.

Well Ana, you do have an inner goddess and all.

Just a little something Ana casually says when Grey is misbehaving:

"Since when have you been so loquacious?"

Since when has that word been used outside the SAT's?

Evidence that our poor narrator is illiterate:

"I believe you have certain expectations, Miss Steele. Which I intend to fulfill to the best of my ability."

"The best... of your a... bil... ity?"

And the best for last from Mr. Grey himself...

"Get in the motherfucking car NOW!"

*swoons and faints* I now can see why she's so in love with him! 

Verdict

I know we've got some Fifty Shades of Grey haters out there; I know this because I was one of them. Hear me out though: Fifty Shades Darker was so much better... I actually loved it! Eventful and engrossing, there's actually a developed plot, and visible character dynamism in this one. Even if you were discouraged by the first book, I think you should give the sequel a chance, because I'm so, so glad that I did. James has made so much improvement, I can't emphasize enough. The raw, heartbreaking emotions actually allowed me to overlook the stiff dialogue, unsuccessful eroticism, and awkward diction/imagery/writing style (or lack thereof); so even if the predecessor wasn't worth finishing, I guarantee this one definitely is 

8 hearts: An engaging read; highly recommended (x)

6 Heart Review: Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James

Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades #1)
EL James

Page Count: 514
Release Date: 12 April 2012
Publisher: Vintage Books (Random House)
Source: Complimentary copy provided in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

Review

Alright, alright, long-awaited and long-dreaded, my review for the infamous Fifty Shades of Grey—the "BDSM erotica novel that swept the world"—is finally here.

I think I need to clear something up, first. Fifty Shades of Grey is hardly BDSM literature; in fact, it's hardly erotic literature. It has explicit sex scenes and breaks readers into the world of sex toys and equipment, yes (for those of us who never knew what a Cat o' Nine Tails or kegel balls were—psh, amateurs)—but if this is what people are being introduced to as "erotica," no wonder they've been severely disappointed. To those who haven't been disappointed, or have even been ridiculously enchanted by James's series: what. the. fuck. is wrong with you??? Pornographic writing and a list of submissive rules/toys do NOT equate to erotica. Take it from me, who's read dirtier, sexier, filthier, and way more taboo than this. Please, just trust me on this one.

This book isn't evil because of its portrayal of an "unhealthy relationship," which is what I'm hearing from a lot of reviewers, or at least the conservative ones. The BDSM lifestyle has nothing to do with domestic abuse or inequality between partners; in a sense, it's power play—roleplaying for pleasure, and is perfectly sane and perfectly safe. I've seen many D/s relationships (in real life and in other books) that are way more tasteful than in Christian and Anastasia, but I won't divulge because this isn't a lesson about BDSM. The point is, if you can't stand the idea of pain for pleasure, you shouldn't be complaining about the "unhealthy relationship" in the first place. As for me, I can handle whipping, I can handle tears, I can handle bruises, and I can handle pain, but what I can't tolerate, is the disgustingly unrealistic dynamic between Christian as a Domme and Ana as a sub.

James has committed no crime in writing about such a relationship; her only sin is glamorizing and falsifying it. It is a miserable portrayal of erotica and BDSM fiction—a poor, inaccurate, and unrealistic picture of a D/s relationship—and I'm sorry if anyone who's never read erotica before has been unfortunate enough to be broken into by Fifty Shades of Grey. Anastasia Steele is a bad initiator, and if you're a smut-virgin, you deserve much better than this.

For starters, it doesn't even give you details of the relationship, aside from a list of hard and soft limits, a few unremarkable spanking scenes, some naughty uses for gray ties (from a man named Grey with gray eyes... ooooh!), and ONE exceptional—I'll admit—love scene involving a flogger. But that's it. All 500-something pages revolve around Ana mulling about the non-disclosure agreement she's so afraid to sign... no juicy deets on what the contract will actually promise.

I'm not trying to kill the hype here, because I actually wanted to like this book. You'll see my rating is way more generous than I feel it deserves, because I do get why people fell for this book, at least partially, and will explain more about this later.

People have said this is smut for smart women. No nO no No NO. This is the opposite of smut for smart women. These are presumably the same people who tell unsuspecting readers to "open up their minds" and give BDSM a try because it isn't all that smutty, it isn't all that bad. Well of course the fuck it isn't bad, because it isn't actually BDSM! You want real BDSM, real down and dirty kinky BDSM? Try Rachel Kramer Bussel's anthologies. Try Alison Tyler's. Try Carrie's Story, for Chrissakes, but if you've never tried erotica, do not read Fifty Shades of Grey; you will hate start off and end up hating the genre, which would be an unspeakable shame.

As for the characters... this is where I'll start getting nasty.

Anastasia is probably the dumbest fucking narrator I've ever encountered in any book. I'm not kidding you. However, literally every man she encounters is smitten with her; she has multiple suitors throughout the book, which is inappropriate for her so-so looks and awkward, dim-witted, and terribly (and I mean TERRIBLY) naïve personality. I don't get it... even she doesn't get it. Which probably means it's just a fantasy on James's part, and perhaps even just an illusion! But I won't go there.

She does have slight relatable humor to her, but it's just that: very slight. That's the only good thing I can say about her. She contradicts herself (and not in that way that makes me sympathize) and apparently is an academic, though she doesn't sound at all intellectual, save her sporadic references to classic literature in comparison to her own life. These, along with her poor attempts at self-deprecation ("my hair never behaves, ugh!!") make her even more dislikable. All in all, she says the stupidest things, does the stupidest things, and lets her huge doe-eyed crush on Christian Grey affect her in the stupidest ways. No wonder he had such a compulsion to beat her all the time; throughout the book, I wanted to give her a good whipping myself.

Christian Grey is also a problem. He's handome, rich as sin, oozes sex appeal, and cares for the ordinary and unintelligent Ana. Basically, he doesn't exist. He, too, says weird, uncharacteristic things that makes me wonder if he's an android a vegetable (possibly) and is also kind of an ass. A self-proclaimed "fifty shades of fucked up," he lives shamelessly and opulently... because he can. And I'm totally picking on him in this review because... I can. He's supposedly got a dark, alluring past that isn't ever fully disclosed. Thanks for telling us, but for not explaining, EL James. Really, thank you!

The only good thing about him is his attractiveness, which I guess is the only reason why Ana likes him. This shows how shallow the basis of their relationship is. I picture him to be sexy as hell; I mean, physically, Ana doesn't skimp on the details. I'm sure he's a babe. But otherwise, he sounds rather bipolar, creepy, stiff... more like a serial killer than anything. He actually stalks Ana at one point. I wanted to swoon over his good looks, but found it hard to. 

To make matters worse, Christian finds Ana absolutely fascinating, but like I've mentioned, I can't see why. The relationship is even less convincing in that respect, and even less enjoyable to read about for 500 pages.

Long story short: the characters sucked. The romance sucked, because frankly, there wasn't really any.

Moving onto the next worst element of this book: the style. EL James's writing is simplistic (but not in the poetic way) with the occasional out-of-place SAT word thrown in for good measure. Ana's stream-of-consciousness first-person narrative is often difficult to follow—rather elementary in tone, like a middle schooler's diary—and I surprised myself that I even got through the whole thing. I think the quality of writing is some of the worst I've seen published, with lots of telling rather than showing (see my quotes below for references) and dialogue that's choppy, forced, and stilted.

Aside from the poor composition, James seems to have an affinity for foil packets, dry murmurs (how does one dryly murmur, anyway??), gasping, wide eyes, the word jeez, and the six holys (fuck, moses, hell, crap, shit, and cow, as in "I'm turned on. Christian is so sexy. Holy moses!"). If you can get through 500 pages of holy moseses, then be my guest.

I know this is only the first in a three-book series (I'll be reviewing the next two... don't know whether to be excited or to burst into tears), but the ending was what was fifty shades of fucked up; Mr. Grey himself doesn't even compare. It has this cliffhanger that doesn't leave me hanging—the absolute worst—and it's almost as if James just wrote this huge 1500-page fanfic about a stalkerish billionaire and a dumbass college student, then chopped it up into three to create a "trilogy." Oh wait.

There isn't much else I can pick on; in summary, the characters are weak, the dialogue is weak, the style is pitiful, and the plot is pretty mellow, nothing fancy. It doesn't live up to the hype at all, but fuck me, I read the whole fuckin' thing in two days.

See, this is where my review sort of does a 180 and I start praising Fifty. You didn't see this coming, did you?

I think it's the storyline. Like in Twilight, there's an irresistible troubled hero—who, I cannot emphasize enough, is really poorly portrayed and quite stalkerish/pathetic—and his uncontrollable compulsions for a girl who's wrong in every way for him. I'm a glutton for these kinds of stories, so yes, that is why I kept reading. Everything—the style, the characters, the sex—is weak, but the appeal factor is strong, definitely strong, and that's why I (unfairly) am giving this one 6 hearts: because I kept reading, and fuck me, because I actually wanted to.

So let's put it like this: The characterization, style, dialogue, BDSM elements, and sex scenes deserve 2-3 hearts.

The intrigue factor, the fact that I kept reading and actually wanted to know what happened next? 7-8 hearts. I guess the story itself is good, but the poor writing and Ana's idiocy/ignorance creates this irritating shadow over the entire read. Even the sex, which you'd think would be the foundation of an erotic romance, is very mediocre... which is a euphemism for very bad. I don't think any of them were remotely arousing (minus the one flogging scene at the end SPOILER START which coincidentally, is also when Ana leaves Christian SPOILER END) because they were ALL THE SAME.  And let's not forget the most absurd loss of virginity I've ever read in my life. I've definitely definitely read much better erotica. It's safe to say the love scenes aren't what make this book enjoyable—I could've done without them. And considering this is an erotic romance novel, that's saying a lot.

Rather, it's the emotions, the overwhelming darkness, that keeps the story moving and Mr. Grey mesmerizing. There's a certain tenderness in getting to know him; he's got this dark, painful past, and she's got nothing. She wants to know him, but he won't let her, and this desperation is at once startlingly draining and hauntingly engaging.

So overall? I weigh the factors and give it 6 out of 10 hearts. I'm certainly not saying there's anything substantial, anything sexy, or anything I get out of this series. I'm just saying I liked it enough.

Do you understand why this is so frustrating??

I hated everything about the book, but I was so immersed in the relationship and the elusive Mr. Grey, that I actually ended up kind of liking it as a whole. It's weirdly addicting, like those powdered donut holes you hate and know are bad for you, but keep eating anyway (as EL James would so eloquently hazard).

[UPDATE #1]: I definitely liked the sequel better! Read what I thought about Fifty Shades Darker by clicking here.

[UPDATE #2]: Check out my review of the last book in the series, Fifty Shades Freed, by clicking here!

Pros

Grey is intriguing... while I don't understand Ana as a character, I do understand her attraction for him // I'm mildly curious as to what happens in the next book // Christian Grey weirds me out but I do feel sympathetic for him // Taylor, the bodyguard, is a total catch. I ship him and Ana // The emails between Ana and Christian are the only tolerable correspondence they two have... they're actually witty! But the in-person conversations... ugh. See "Cons" below

Cons

They fall in deep, desperate love in like, two weeks // Sounds like it was written by a ten-year-old // Unpronounceable vocabulary words randomly thrown in the middle of sentences // Unrealistic dialogue //Ana is probably the most dislikable protagonist in history // Grey is the creepiest fuck ever // Cookie-cutter secondary characters, e.g. the likable brother, the doting mother, the best friend who has it all, the guy friend who secretly has the hots for Ana, etc. // The "dark past" isn't really... dark? Sorry. I've seen worse // Ridiculous and inaccurate portrayal of a submissive lifestyle // BDSM just isn't kinky // Sex scenes are awkward or just outrageously underdone // Overall not arousing // Ana literally calls Christian "Fifty shades"..... ok // Ending is balls

Love

"I enjoy punishing you. I've wanted to spank you since you asked me if I was gay."

I flush at the memory. Jeez, I wanted to spank myself after that question.

So this book does have a sense of humor, but for the most part, it's unintentional. Since I've expressed how I feel about James's insipid and extremely uncomfortably crafted writing, below, are some quotes I found hilarious—prime examples of the author/narrator, unawares, being humorous. These, I love for all the wrong reasons:

Upon Anastasia's first handjob:

"I want you to become well-acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I'm very attached to this."

It's so big and growing.

Upon Anastasia's first blowjob:

He's my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle.

Upon Anastasia's first exposure to the vast and complex world of technology:

I have an e-mail address?

*confused pout*

Upon Anastasia's graduation:

The ceremony takes another hour to conclude. It's interminable.

(2400 on the SAT's for you, EL!)

Anastasia trying to figure Christian out:

I'm so confused.

He's such a mystery.

He's so cryptic.

He's so wealthy.

Anastasia having sex:

It's so sexual.

I'm so aroused.

I'm so turned on.

He's so good at sex.

Come to think of it, making fun of this book was my favorite thing about it.

Verdict

I have a manic love-hate relationship with this book and am awarding it a reluctant 6 hearts because Christian Grey, while unrealistic and overstated, is strangely hypnotic. I didn't like this book for the characters or BDSM or the romance, or even the sex; only for the story. I can't recommend this, especially if you're new to erotica; this is not the kind of book you want your first experience to be. I don't recommend this to you even if you read a lot of erotica, either, because you probably won't be able to finish it. So I guess I don't recommend it to anyone. It was pretty entertaining (more out of laughs, than anything) and is a far-fetched fantasy that raises the question of who really has the power in D/s, in which readers will gladly indulge. I'll even be reviewing the next two books because I have to, but as this first book in the series isn't particularly well executed, and often very frustrating, I suggest you spend your time and money elsewhere

6 hearts: Satisfying for a first read, but I'm not going back (x)

The Science of Need by Jordan Bell + Giveaway!

As the first week of the Insatiable Reads Book Tour comes to a close, I've a very lovely author visiting today. Bestselling author of steamy romance novels and novellas, the wonderful Jordan Bell is on tour with her erotic full-length novel, The Fortune Teller's Daughter, and will be revealing a sizzling sneak peek of the book exclusive to Books à la Mode readers. Stay tuned for a chance to win a print copy AND a few surprise gifts! Readers, please help me welcome Jordan to the blog!

The Almost-Kiss and the Science of Need

There’s this scene about midway through my book where the Magician and my heroine, Serafine, are alone on his stage. He’s exhausted, too exhausted to keep working on his show and she starts distracting him by talking about nothing in particular while performing a card trick she picked up once upon a time. At this point in the story, there have been sparks between them, but they are also both struggling under enormous burdens—too big to allow their personal feelings to distract them from what they have to do. After her card trick, he takes her in his hands and buries his face against her stomach and just holds on like his life depends on her nearness. 

For a moment, the Magician who can perform astonishing, impossible feats of magic needs this strange girl—needs her more than he needs the sun to rise or the world to turn or air to breathe and it terrifies him. It makes him vulnerable, a thing he’s never had to be. It’s a great scene, my favorite in fact, and it was when I wrote this scene that I realized the story really centered around their unfulfilled needs than it did around sexual pleasure, which was what I thought I was writing about when I started.

I love to write kisses that make you feel a little weak and dizzy and sweaty, but there’s something just as intense about what happens when they don’t kiss, but really want to. The power of the almost kiss could conquer the world.

We talk a lot about creating characters who are strong and self-sufficient and it is particularly needling when a female character can’t take care of herself and needs a man. I try to stay away from this particular character trope myself, so I was surprised to discover that I was writing about a character who had taken care of herself all her life and that was the problem—she’d formed no lasting connections to anyone else and so when it came to trusting someone, she couldn’t do it. The situation I put her in, then, required that connection. It required her to need someone else. And the result was intense—sometimes very funny and often heartbreaking. The two characters are troublesome and complicated and constantly trying to outdo the other and it takes them forever to get out of their own ways. I think that’s pretty typical of most people, though. We are terrible about getting in our own ways.

God! I so know what you mean about the almost-kiss! The tense, smoldering aura creates such an intense moment.

As for The Fortune Teller's Daughter, it sounds just as incredible! I can't wait to have it in my hot little hands. Readers, here's a little bit about the book...

Serafine Moreau grew up on the shiftless, grimy edges of cities that were never home, raised at the capricious whims of her bohemian mother. She learned young how to move unseen through crowds, acquire things that didn’t belong to her, and disappear at the first sign of trouble. Together they made a curious life beneath street market tents, plying tourists with fortunes and new age voodoo. It wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs - until a stranger appeared one unremarkable autumn morning to steal the fortune teller’s life and leave Sera with nothing but questions.

Now alone, Sera wanders lost between days, strangled by the past and unable to pursue her future. Even the cards reveal nothing. So when an invitation addressed to her mother’s stage name Corazon arrives from an old carnival outfit looking to recruit the late fortune teller, Sera answers instead.

Beneath the labyrinthine tents she discovers enchantments that defy explanation and wonders that feel like magic. Bewitched by the carnival’s handsome illusionist and the dark whimsy of the Carnival Imaginaire, Sera finally feels like she’s home until the mystery of her mother’s death unravels with the secrets of the carnival’s past. At the center of the brewing storm hides Sera’s heart that can’t hope to survive another loss.

Click "read more" for an excerpt you can only find here, as well as a giveaway!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: The Angel by Tiffany Reisz and Giveaway!

The Angel (The Original Sinners #2)
Tiffany Reisz

Release Date: September 25th, 2012

Publisher: MIRA (Harlequin)

Page Count: 410

Source: I received a complimentary ARC from Little Bird Publicity in exchange for an honest and unbiased review, as part of the virtual book tour

No safe word can protect the heart

Infamous erotica author and accomplished dominatrix Nora Sutherlin is doing something utterly out of character: hiding. While her longtime lover, Søren—whose fetishes, if exposed, would be his ruin—is under scrutiny pending a major promotion, Nora's lying low and away from temptation in the lap of luxury.

Her host, the wealthy and uninhibited Griffin Fiske, is thrilled to have Nora stay at his country estate, especially once he meets her traveling companion. Young, inexperienced and angelically beautiful, Michael has become Nora's protégé, and this summer with Griffin is going to be his training, where the hazing never ends.

But while her flesh is willing, Nora's mind is wandering. To thoughts of Søren, her master, under investigation by a journalist with an ax to grind. And to another man from Nora's past, whose hold on her is less bruising, but whose secrets are no less painful. It's a summer that will prove the old adage: love hurts.

The first word that came to mind the moment I thought of how to start this review, was victim. Having read and worshipped the first book in this series, The Siren, I realized what it and The Angel have in common is that they both revolve around victims. Not victims in the most literal sense, but victims to, none other, but the Original Sinners. Which brings us to ask: who exactly are the Original Sinners? In Reisz's first book, the answer is unclear, but in this kinkier, more frustrating, and dare I say it... hotter sequel, the blurry lines are finally distinguished. Our Original Sinners are Nora, Søren, Griffin, Kingsley, Michael, and very possibly... the tenacious Wesley. But hush! ...you didn't hear it from me.

In The Siren, the victim was Zachary Easton, the one book editor who could really whip Nora into shape (her work, I mean!) and the one who unknowingly taught her a valuable lesson of love and trust. The Angel's victim happens to be rightfully intrusive reporter, Suzanne, who, like Zach, will change Nora Sutherlin's life forever, but concomitantly is just a passerby in the Sinners' lives, and will virtually never been seen or heard from again.

But before we get that hopeful, though, we as readers, have hell and high water to trudge through first.

Suzanne's trying to peruse the one case that should be left alone: Søren's position in the Catholic church. Oh, Søren. Terrifying, poised, perpetually sanctimonious, he's the small-town church's most respected priest, as well as the underground BDSM world's most revered Dom. He also happens to be Nora Sutherlin's lover. But again, shh...

A suspicious tipoff has Suzanne sprawling to get to the heart of the matter, but no one's going to make it easy for her, Søren included. As her investigation progresses, we learn of the overwhelming motives of why she's so desperate to persecute, as well as the more-frightening justifications of why the truth is so carefully hidden in the first place. But again, this is just the victim's story, the thematic narrative, the passing interference. The Sinners' story is much, much more complicated.

Under Søren's orders, Michael and Nora must hide out at trust-fund baby Griffin Fiske's luxurious palace of a home until Suzanne is convinced to leave. They can't be around while the reporter does her snooping; it's obvious she will expose Søren's lifestyle if she finds any incriminating evidence. Thus we embark on the intense, turbulent summer that begins in Griffin's mansion, composed of Michael's Sub training, as well as Griffin's road to adulthood... something he thought he'd never willingly face.

Nora and Griffin's fuckbuddies-and-best-friends relationship is explicit, entertaining, and very wicked; Michael, to say the least, is shocked, but more than intrigued. I love their dynamic, as well as Michael's initial reaction to and eventual credence for it. His character is probably the one that grows the most in The Angel, especially when he's officially appointed an Original Sinner. I was looking forward to lots of gore and submission regarding his Sub training, but there aren't many scenes. Most of them revolve around Michael coming to terms with his scars—both physical and emotional—and awakening in adolescent sexual discovery, but it's still all amazing. Even more phenomenal, is the effect Michael has on Griffin. With Michael, he's just... home. So proves Nora's theory that he's her Angel, that he's everyone's Angel. It's unquestionable; he's one of them.

The two stories—Suzanne's frantic search and Michael's angelhood—are intertwined perfectly, just so that there are always dire questions raised and is never a dull moment. Well-played, Tiffany Reisz, very well-played. Even when presented with resolutions, I remained scratching my head and pining for more. As expected, the wit, charm, and addictiveness of her literary voice command the tone of this novel. No complaints whatsoever; Reisz has struck gold again.

Nora's separation from Søren will, no doubt, be one of the most difficult periods in her life, but hey, if she survived five years away from him—albeit tearing apart on the inside the entire time—she can do a few months. It will force her to face the unvanquishable flame in the pit of her stomach for a certain sensation she's never known before called vanilla love. It will teach her a few things: the difference between true love and true respect, the irony of sacrilege versus sin, and the only way to cope with denial: to subvert it and confront those demons on her own. Certainly, this summer will change her life. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but it depends on where her heart's been in the first place. Will facing her fears free her, or will they confuse her even more?

I said this for The Siren, and I'm going to say it again: if you are queasy at heart, if you are devotedly Christian/orthodox/vanilla/insipid, and if you like Happily Ever Afters, do not pick up this book. Not only will the carnal content destroy your sacrosanct mind, but it'll also leave scars and you in tears. We're talking casual sex, underage participants, abusive pasts, and even incest (yes, Reisz went there!) between these pages. So if that turns you off, back the f u c k away. You've been warned.

I think returning readers of the first book in the series will get the most out of The Angel, not only because of the recurring characters and themes, but also because of its newfound revelations. This sequel slowly, painfully, and sadistically answers the questions and divulges the hushed secrets that arose in the first book, particularly those that enshrouded the previously underexposed Søren. It's definitely more agonizing, but all the more gratifying; consider it a 400-page striptease. Dear Lord.

With the exception, of course, of The Siren, The Angel is far more powerful and captivating of a piece of erotic literature than I have ever known. It's equally astonishing, devastating, and foul, but all in different arenas as The Siren; whereas the first novel was heartbreaking, groundbreaking, the second is more adventurous, scarier, darker, more provocative. In the end, Reisz leaves us hanging onto the story of the one person who can make Nora Sutherlin weak on her knees... without a collar and without a cane, but she doesn't let on much, aside from the fact that Nora is finally giving her heart a break. Wesley doesn't make much of an appearance in this book, but he's the title character in the next book, The Prince, out in November. I will forever root for him and wait upon the book with every fiber of my being. 

Stephanie Loves: All right, multiple quotes again. I swear I normally don't do this: "'Please sir, will you let me go so I can drive my as—bottom home, take a shower, eat breakfast for once this week, throw on some clothes and drive back to church so I can sit in my pew looking prim and proper all the while imagining you naked as you're giving some homily on sin and how, shockingly, God's against it? Pretty please with you on top?" and "'I may send you away, but I will give you a goodbye that will hold you all summer.'" and "'Life and death are less life-and-death than love is. When I fell in love ... I felt as though I had this open wound. I was so raw, so tender. And it hurt. But I didn't care. Love is the open would that you hope never heals." Just shoot me ugh, Tiffany Reisz, make love to me nOW!!!!!

Radical Rating: 10 hearts: I'm speechless; this book is an extraordinarily amazingly wonderfully fantastically marvelous masterpiece. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Giveaway!

Thanks to Little Bird Publicity, one lucky reader will get the chance to worship read The Angel, themselves! To enter, fill out the Rafflecopter form below:

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Ends October 15th, 2012