3 Heart Review: All We Have Is Now by Lisa Schroeder

All We Have Is Now
Lisa Schroeder

Page Count: 272
Release Date: July 28th 2015
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Source: Complimentary copy provided by author via tour publicist in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Lisa Schroeder and CBB Book Promotions!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

What do you do with your last day on earth?

There are twenty-seven hours and fifteen minutes left until a meteor strikes North America, and, for Emerson and everyone else who didn't leave, the world will end. But Emerson's world already ended when she ran away from home last year. Since then she has lived on the streets, relying on her wits and her friend Vince to help her find places to sleep and food to eat.

The city's quieter now that most people are gone, and no one seems to know what to do as the end approaches. But then Emerson and Vince meet Carl, who tells them that he has been granting people's wishes. He gave his car away so a woman could take her son to see the ocean for the first time, and he gives Emerson and Vince all the money he has in his wallet.

Suddenly this last day seems full of possibility. Emerson and Vince can grant a lot of wishes in twenty-seven hours—maybe even their own.

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Review

"Pay it forward, if you can. Look for those who have wishes or regrets."
Panic rises up, and Emerson realizes she doesn't want to be here. She starts to run, heading back the way they came.
She remembers Vince's words. "I just want it to be easy."
There is nothing easy about this, she realizes. Not a single thing.

The biggest disappointment about this book was that it actually sounded inspirational and intriguing in its sci-fi backdrop. An impending apocalypse combined with a mission from a stranger to spend the last day on Earth performing random acts of kindness—excellent. Add to that a developing "romance" between two teenage outcasts who've been surviving on the streets and only have each other—I really thought this story could have gone somewhere.

Unfortunately, it was subpar in pretty much every literary criteria. The cheesy and uneventful character interactions, story line, and so-called "inspirational" message actually had me wondering how exactly this could sit well with any reader. Unless you are a 10-year-old who has never experienced real-life conflict involving family, friends, and romantic love, I'm confident you'd read this and feel the same way. I cringed at a lot of the dialogue, and got really, really exasperated by the time I finished the last page.

Schroeder's writing itself is not incredibly flawed, but that's a pretty basic statement because it isn't profound or particularly thoughtful either. Her prose lacks an engaging element that I'd associate with a pre-apocalyptic and/or teen-oriented novel, and I feel the randomly interspersed pages of verse are unseasoned, as well. Most writers can get away with underdeveloped prose, but in poetry, the quality of writing shows. And I was shown how poor it was all throughout the book.

The worst part is the stilted and superbly unrealistic/cringe-worthy dialogue scenes. And before you try to argue that it's sci-fi, it isn't supposed to be realistic—that's not what I mean. Obviously "end of the world" stories aren't meant to be realistic contemporary fiction, but they should still immerse a reader into the fictional setting. All We Have Is Now failed miserable at doing this overall.

Emerson and Vince are supposedly each other's "one and only" (although not initially in a romantic way), but their dialogue is stiff and gives me secondhand embarrassment:

"Where'd you learn to dance anyway?" Emerson teases. "A cute girl teach you?"
His eyes turn cold and he stares straight ahead. "No. Nothing like that. If you have to know, it was my mom."

Not only are Vince and Emerson poorly portrayed, but they're also VERY difficult to like and relate to, mostly because I found a lot of their characteristics to be inconsistent. For instance, Vince is the smooth-talking "cool" black guy whom Emerson doesn't realize she's in love with, but he has strange bouts of emotional outbursts, and can be really pushy and obnoxious. Emerson is the troubled runaway who is afraid to reconcile with her estranged family, but she's prude, whiny, equally as unnecessarily emotional, and just plain stupid at times. I'm not saying that to be offensive; she seriously reads like a one-dimensional cartoon character:

"Don't do that," Emerson says through gritted teeth. "Don't insult my intelligence, Mr. Say-One-Thing-and-Do-Another."
"Wait. Are you, like, mad right now?" Kat asks [and] holds out her hands as if to say, What's the big deal? (....lol) "But why?"
Vince crosses his arms. "I'd actually like to know the answer to that question, too."
"You guys left me out here while you did who-knows-what in that bed that isn't even yours," Emerson yells. "I mean, gross! And rude." (..LOL!)
Vince steps forward, tries to touch her, but she steps back. "Girl, come on. You know it wasn't like that."

This one just cracks me up. Every time a character speaks, you think that's the punchline but it just keeps getting better and better.

I could have gotten over the unpleasant characters (maybe) but what bothered me even more was the story itself. Yes, it starts off as a provocative Mitch Albom-esque plot, but turns into something I became weary of immediately. The ending takes a 180° turn and (if you can't guess it already), here's a quick spoiler to get off my chest: SPOILER START (highlight the white text to view): The conclusion isn't dark and wish-welcoming like the synopsis suggests. In fact, the apocalypse turns out to be a government hoax to teach US citizens a lesson to appreciate what they have (WTF!) and everything returns to normal the next day. No end of the world, no lives lost, no deep, dark, revealing, or even remotely inspirational matter. Just a bunch of psychological effing-up. Literally that's what we encounter about 80% of the way in, and then there's a bunch of happy endings (yaaaayy) and a ridiculous last chapter. :SPOILER END. A better writer COULD have even made this ending jaw-dropping or uplifting in some sort of way, but Schroeder accomplished neither. The construction of the conclusion itself was poor, with very unlikely conflict resolutions that occur in a couple pages (that happens in real life?!) and a rushed, cheesy, and very unbelievable ending.

I didn't see it coming because I refused to even believe that the author would take a turn like that... it was completely out of the realm of possibility... and then it happened -_-

Pros

Appropriate for younger YA or middle-grade audiences (very clean "romance," and even the darker themes are portrayed lightly with a definite resolution) // Inspiring message about appreciating what you have // Extremely easy to read and flows well

Cons

Pretty much everything else: Stylized and very basic, unimpressive writing // Numerous unsuccessful attempts to be profound and engaging // Character interactions, action scenes, and overall plot (especially the ending) are difficult to believe // The verse portions don't have ANY effect on me; I could have gotten the same thing out of this book without them // The budding "romance" (romance in quotations throughout this entire review because I don't really even consider it one) between Vince and Emerson just doesn't make sense // Emerson is unlikable, unrelatable (typically characters are one or the other), shallowly written, talks in a ridiculous, childish way, has random inappropriate mood swings etc. etc. etc. // Vince is just as bad: tremendously cheesy, unbelievable, has similar weird mood swings (I know they're teenagers and all but c'mon...) // The worst ending/conclusion plot twist ever

Love

The best kind of days are the ones that make you feel like you are living inside a kaleidoscope, twirling and swirling with dazzling joy.

Verdict

Unfortunately All We Have Is Now has very few redeeming qualities; it was unimpressive and quite cringe-worthy in almost every way. The characters are neither endearing nor enduring, the plot-line is very quick to resolve and painfully anticlimactic, and the ending just sealed the deal, leaving me dumbfounded (and NOT in a good way!). I feel like my standards have gotten much higher since when I first started reviewing, because I probably would have given this a decent 2.5-star rating previously; now, however, I'm just getting tired of tolerating stilted action and unintentional character flaws. While the suggested readership audience is ages 12-18, I would recommend it more for ages 10-14—if you even decide to pick this book up—because of its unrealistically optimistic plot and empty characters (maybe middle schoolers won't notice). My opinion may not sit well with Lisa Schroeder readers, as I know she has a large YA fan base, but I simply didn't like this book, even though it was a quick-paced and uncomplicated read 

3 hearts: Not a fan; I don't recommend this book (x)

3 Heart Review: Changeling Dream by Dani Harper

Changeling Dream (Changeling #2)
Dani Harper

Page Count: 376
Release Date: 31 May 2011
Publisher: Brava (Kensington)
Source: Complimentary copy provided by FSB Media in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you, Leyane!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

In times of stress Jillian Descharme has always found calm in her dream of a great white wolf with haunting blue eyes. But she is startled when the visions return and this time seem so real. Late at night he comes to her, speaks to her, touches her. It's almost as if he's alive...

Thirty years ago James Macleod lost his wife and unborn child to a killer bent on destroying the Changelings. Though he longed for death, his animal instinct fought for survival and James has been a wolf ever since. Yet now a woman has reawakened the man in him, taming wild instincts but arousing still wilder needs. With his ancient enemy hunting the legendary white wolf, James must fight for new life, new hope, new love.

Buy the book at: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | Books-A-Million | Sony eStore | Kobo

Review

Set in Dunvegan, the same cozy town in Southern Ontario where the first book in the series, Changeling Moon, took place, Changeling Dream is James Macleod's story. After 30 years of being trapped in wolfen form, Connor's estranged brother rises to humanity when a vaguely familiar new face, Jillian Descharme, comes to town. James has never met Jillian before but recognizes her somehow—he knows her from the soul—but comes to realize the person he really doesn't recognize is himself—neither as wolf, nor man.

The storyline with the mysterious connection between Jillian and James is compelling but everything else was a disappointment for me. I didn't totally love the first book, but wanted to give this second book a try because the "lost brother" story intrigued me; however, I didn't enjoy it at all. Typically with series, I am particularly fond of later installments because of the recurring characters, but even with the reprise of Zoe and the Macleods, I felt pretty much nothing.

The main characters, for one, I had a huge problem with. James's guilt over a family tragedy 30 years ago has given him an overactive sense of responsibility, which is why he overcompensates by desperately trying to keep Dr. Descharme out of danger. This would be a great alpha male quality, but it was written so simply and choppily that it actually makes him rather stalkerish... showing up in her bedroom in the middle of the night, visiting her at work every day, coming to her rescue at every possible moment. Yeesh. And then there's Jillian, who just may win the "Least likable romance heroine" award. Described as feisty and independent, this girl's maddeningly sensitive, and an irritatingly raging feminist. She only comes off as cold, pigheaded, and can just never cooperate, so the fact that she ends up "falling" for James is not only uncharacteristic, but also unbelievable. Even though she has her own demons, I felt no sympathy for her whatsoever, and found most of her points of argument very trivial and illogical. 80% of the book is her talking to herself (she talks to herself more than she talks to other characters... what the f*ck?) and apprehending over a stagnant relationship. It isn't just the attitude I found distasteful, it was everything.

And then we need to talk about the so-called romance itself. All it is is terribly angsty, with no formidable foundation or realistic expectation... and yet Jillian and James are absolutely soul mates. She doesn't even like the guy one minute, then is yearning for his touch and affection the next. Finger. Down. Throat. Now.

I literally had to keep asking myself why I was bothering to finish this book. I found it painfully boring, annoying, and although not completely unreadable, something I mostly skimmed—particularly for the last half (aka the part where everything happens).

Pros

Captivating premise about dreams and guardian wolves

Cons

James is suffocating and dislikable // Jillian is inflexible and dislikable // Unrealistic, tiring "relationship" // Messy, inconclusive story // Terrible climax

Love

James was very much like the river. Calm and steady on the surface, but somehow [Jillian had] been drawn in and captured by the deep current beneath. Would she escape? And did she really want to?

Verdict

The lycanthropic and mystical aspects of Changeling Dream were enough to hold my attention, but I definitely had to grit my teeth through this one. James's story was nice to read, but the exasperating rising action, a messy, premature climax, and ridiculous insta-romance between him and Jillian had me rolling my eyes 

3 hearts: Not a fan; I don't recommend this book (x)

♥♥♥: Falling Immortality by Robert Downs

Falling Immortality (Casey Holden, Private Investigator #1)
Robert Downs

Page Count: 222
Release Date: 1 August 2011
Publisher: Rainbow Books, Inc.
Source: Complimentary copy provided by author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)
Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Fine Women Required, Heineken Optional

Debut, hard-boiled mystery fiction for men, in the fitting genre called MANfiction (the opposite of chick-lit).

Casey Holden, former cop, current PI in Virginia Beach, VA, screens his clients the way he screens his women, based on whichever drop-dead gorgeous woman happens to waltz through his door first and manages to hold his attention. So when Felicity Farren, widow-at-large, struts into his office asking him to solve the two-year-old murder of her husband Artis, she intrigues him. When Casey starts digging, he learns the murder isn’t what it seems to be and he doesn’t have a big enough shovel to unearth the truth. And to top it all off, his former rival at the police department, Greg Gilman, is determined to disrupt his investigation. Casey's challenge is to learn what really happened to Artis, and why Gilman can’t seem to remove his head from his butt. And he’ll need all of his wits to complete the task.

Review

Before you gasp in horror from the unusually low rating I've given, let me put a few things straight: Robert Downs is not necessarily a bad writer and Falling Immortality is not a bad book. Remember my philosophy? There's no such thing as a bad book. However, this book has set off some bombs inside of me that should have been left alone; when a book annoys me that much, I will take it personally, and I will write a review to reflect those feelings. This review may sound highly tempered and slightly pissy. You've been warned.

My biggest issue is that there is almost no substance to this story. I can tell you the entire plot in one sentence: Casey Holden, playboy extraordinaire, solves shady crime involving questionable widow, her impenetrable late husband, and her miserable past. In fact, had this sentence actually been in the pages of Falling Immortality, there would be nothing left to read; everything else is virtually fluff. With absolutely no connectable content and dreadful writing flow—no substance, nor style—this book was one I grit my teeth and rubbed my eyes through. I didn't like it at all.

The second biggest problem is Casey, our first-person narrator. He may be a private investigator, but ironically he just can't answer or think of anything straightforwardly. It's clear he knows his job, but has no social awareness, too much confidence, and an ill sense of humor he expects everyone to be amused by. He'll ask a question for the case, flirt and banter exhaustingly for four pages at a time, then come back to the question because, oh yeah, he was supposed to get an answer. There is so much unnecessary fluff, that Falling Immortality was close to an impossible read.

Also, in terms of personality, Casey is the about the last person from whom I'd want to hear a story; not only is he foolish, but he's also unreliable, extremely immature, and just can't get to the point! Half the time I wanted to smack a reason out of him, and the other,  I wanted to duct tape his mouth shut. His "witty" ramblings are irritating and just too much. Downs should not be trying so hard to create a humorous personality, because Casey as a character fails miserably from making such a huge effort. Another off-key trait is Casey's supposed womanizing; apparently he is successful at it (but nothing from the author shows me how he scores so well... it all seems like ideal make-believe to me), but all he comes off as is highly annoying, smart-alecky, and frankly, pathetic. He has no charm nor wit whatsoever; the ladies' man characterization just doesn't fit. I can't imagine someone like him being so popular with women in real life; for the most part, he just seems like a jerk—a highly oblivious and outrageously aggravating one, at that. He thinks he's clever and gorgeous and charismatic, but is actually just comes off as plain lame.

The rest of the cast isn't much more impressive. The victims are shallow and unprobed, and even the antagonist isn't that bad—mostly, he's unmemorable and adds no suspense nor issues to the development of the story. This is supposed to be a work of detective fiction; where's my suspense and where's my crime??

Pros

The occasional funny, quirky line from Casey // Clean writing; well-edited

Cons

Poor flow // Difficult, dense writing // Dispensable diction // Every character is unlikable // Casey, who, unfortunately is our protagonist, is the most unlikable (and pathetic) out of all of them // Mystery is very weak // No suspense or speculation // Very inadequate in almost every aspect: story, style, characterization, structure, and technique

Love

I thought about dropping my head in my bowl of minestrone soup, but I had a feeling someone might notice, or in a big blow to my ego, they might not.

Verdict

My dislike for the protagonist (an immediate disadvantage towards my opinion any book), the thick, unnavigable writing style, and the lack of meaningful story structure throughout Falling Immortality make it an exasperating, unfulfilling read. This novel has a couple light chuckle-worthy moments, but is generally unpromising, and after reading, my patience had reached its lowest low. Highly insubstantial in content and wretchedly unsuccessful in style (and storytelling!), Downs's debut is not something I would recommend 

3 hearts: Not a fan; I don't recommend this book (x)

♥♥♥: The Case by Mel Nicolai

Hey guys. Why am I up this early? It's actually not early at all but we have a two-hour delay at school today. WOO HOOO!!!!! You don't know how happy I am. So here I am blogging instead of getting my two extra hours of sleep—what the hell is wrong with me?

Firstly, I want to say a great big thanks to those who are following and reading the blog. Thank you all for commenting, for messaging, for reading. YOU guys make me so happy :)

Also, I have been very very bad. I still have not mailed out some of the prizes I owe to winners because I haven't had a chance to run to the post office yet! I sent everyone I owe a postcard in the mail a few days ago, and got a chance to send out swag packs since they only take a stamp or two, but for the people who won bigger prizes. Outta luck! I PROMISE I will get them out as soon as I can. These days have been so hectic for me (it's school, rugby training, music lesson... SNOW DAY) so I really hope you understand. I'm also participating in another hop this weekend so stay tuned for that. I will definitely have prizes mailed out faster this time around.

Now here is a book review. Enjoy!

To be honest, it took me about a month to finish The Case by Mel Nicolai, a mere 108-page book, which says a lot about it. Physically, it was very easy: the font big, the spacing wide, the chapters only a couple pages each; but I didn't understand half the words, and had to read most of the sentences at least four times each to make the most generic sense of them. Occasionally, the sentences would be comprehensive to my mind. Often, they wouldn't.

The entire novel was like reading a philosophy text—more specifically, I related it to Oscar Wilde. Everything in the book seems quotable, a thoughtfully calculated idea the author wanted to convey. Perhaps if the words hadn't been so scientific (well they sounded scientific to me. I mean, who's expected to know what "cingulate" means, anyway?) I could have enjoyed Nicolai as much as I enjoyed Wilde. 

The main problem I had with The Case though, is how it lacks a plot. Maybe Nicolai is such an phenomenal, recalcitrant writer, that I'm too dumb to know what he's talking about. Maybe there is a plot that I have just missed. Either way, I found no point to all 108 pages of the book.

Brock Meirski, the protagonist, is an unbelievably perspicacious, speculative character, but nothing really happens to him. He is supposedly on The Case, but I still don't know what The Case is exactly, even though the book ends, talking about The Case. All Brock really does is wake up, use the toilet, go to the grocery store, say hello to his neighbor, meet a pretty girl, invite the pretty girl to his house, then go to bed. The next morning, he does it all over again. The next morning, well... I don't think there even is a next morning. If there is, I am definitely missing something from the story. My essence is, no excitement or meaning radiate from The Case's words; nothing compilable, nothing to analyze. There is no suspense, no climax, no falling action, which are all necessities of even the most basic fictional story. There were some really neat observances on life and on people, but in the end, it was like adding a dab of different colors of paint to a palette and then mixing the shades all together; a big messy colorless blob.

Sadly, I cannot say I would recommend this book, because of how absurdly aimless it is. If you're studying metaphysics and want to use The Case as a resource to enhance your studies, go ahead. Otherwise, try to keep your distance.

Stephanie Loves: "The present, life in the present, is always up ahead. It's almost like when you're born, a race starts. The doctor slaps you on the ass and everyone and everything takes off at speed. Only you can't run yet. It'll be a few years before you can get in the race, and by then you're so far behind you'll never catch up."

Where Stephanie Got It: Complimentary copy provided by LibraryThing in exchange for an honest and unbiased review (thank you!)

Radical Rating: 3 hearts: Not a fan; I don't recommend this book. ♥♥♥
 

Thanks, guys. You all rock. And roll. Keep on bearing with me xx