Thursday, January 17, 2013

Author: Melodie Campbell Guest and Giveaway!

Brought to you by TLC Book Tours...
The Goddaughter
Melodie Campbell

Page Count: 144
Release Date: 1 September, 2012
Orca Book Publishing

Stolen jewels, a cross-country chase, and a reluctant mob goddaughter make for a whole lot of laughs!

Despite her best efforts to lead a law-abiding life, Gina Gallo cannot quite escape her mob family. Since she’s a certified gemologist, Gina has become a key player in the family’s gem-smuggling operations. Now she has met a great guy, a reporter named Pete, and she’ll do almost anything to keep him from discovering her shady side. But when a gem delivery goes awry, Gina has to take Pete along for the ride.

Face Plants and Why Book Tours are Expensive

I’ve recently been on a book tour for my latest screwball comedy, The Goddaughter. Book tours are expensive. You travel around to independent book stores and you sell some books and sign them. It’s fun. You meet a lot of great people. But it’s expensive. And I’m not talking about the hotel tab and the bar bill.

I should have just stayed in the bar. It was leaving the bar that became expensive.

Nice night. We decided to go for a walk. It was dark, but I had on my brand new expensive progressive eye-glasses, so not a problem, right?

One second I was walking and talking. The next, I was flying through the air.

Someone screamed.

WHOMP. (That was me, doing a face plant.)

“OHMYGOD! Are you okay?” said my colleague.

I was clearly not okay. In fact, I was splat on the sidewalk and could not move.

“Fine!” I yelled into the flagstone. “I’m fine!”

I tried to lift my head. Ouch.

“That must have hurt,” said someone helpfully.

I write mob comedies. So I know a bit about the mob. It may come in handy.

A crowd had gathered. Not the sort of crowd that gently lifts you off the ground. More the sort of crowd that gawks.

“Couldn’t figure out why you were running ahead of us.” My colleague shook his head.

I wasn’t running. I was tripping and falling.

“That sidewalk is uneven. Your foot must have caught on it.”

No shit, Sherlock.

By now I had tested various body parts. Knees were numb. Hands, scraped. Chin, a little sore.

But here’s the thing. I hit in this order: knees, tummy, boobs, palms. My tummy and boobs cushioned the fall and saved my face.

Yes, this was going through my mind as I pushed back with my tender palms to balance on my bloody knees.

“Ouch!” I said. No, that’s a lie. I said something else.

I stood up. Surveyed the damage. My knees were a bloody mess, but the dress survived without a scratch. It was made in China, of course. Of plastic.

The crowd was dispersing. But the pain wasn’t over.

Next day, I hobbled to the clinic. The doctor, who probably isn’t old enough to drive a car yet, shook his head. “Progressive glasses are the number one reason seniors fall. They are looking through the reading part of their glasses when they walk, and can’t see the ground properly.”

Seniors? I’ve still got my baby fat.

“Get some distance-only glasses,” he advised.

So I did. Another 350 bucks later, I have a third pair of glasses to carry around in my purse.

Which means my purse isn’t big enough.

So I need to buy a new purse.

And that’s why book tours are so expensive.

About the Author

Melodie Campbell has been a bank manager, marketing director, college instructor, comedy writer, and possibly the worst runway model ever.

Melodie got her start writing comedy (stand-up and columns). In 1999, she opened the Canadian Humour Conference in Hamilton. She has over 200 publications, including 40 short stories, and has won 6 awards for short fiction. Her third novel, The Goddaughter, is a comic mob caper. Melodie was a finalist for the 2012 Derringer Award (US) and Arthur Ellis Award (Canada), and is the Executive Director of Crime Writers of Canada.

Melodie was invited into the Toronto Press Club in 1994. There is no truth to the rumor that she once did a somersault off the Press Club billiard table.


Melody is an absolute gem! I love her humor and spirit. She's been generous enough to offer either one eBook or print copy of The Goddaughter to one lucky reader today, as well. To enter, all you have to do fill out the Rafflecopter form below :)
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Rules and Disclosure:
Giveaway ends February 1st at 11.59 EST (your time).
Open internationally! Woohoo! However, only US/CAN residents are elegible for the print copy.
Winners have 48 hours to claim their prize once they are chosen, or else their prize will be forfeited and a new winner will be chosen.
I am in no way responsible for the prizes, nor for shipping and handling.
As a reminder, you do not have to follow my blog to enter, though it is always very much appreciated ❤ Plus, you get extra entries ;)
Good luck!